what made people struggle with finding love? - Answers couldn't meet basic physiological needs first like
food
need physiological needs and safety met before love
spouses were originally seen as... - Answers workmates
children were seen as assets
how many children did women have before BC? - Answers ~10, only 7 survived past one year
what historical event in the late 1700s and early 1800s happened to make people more likely to marry
for love? - Answers industrial revolution
how did men and women rank marrying for love in the 1930s? - Answers women #3
men #7
still not the number one priority for marriage (love)
what happened in the 1960s that altered the way couples feel about marriage and family? - Answers
birth control and contraceptives
marriage trends over the last 30 years - Answers going down, fewer people are getting married
BUT Utah has the highest marriage rate
divorce rates over the last 30 years - Answers staying the same, slightly downward
peaked in the late 1980s
childbearing/fertility trends - Answers fewer children
later marriage, divorce, pursuing education or career
cohabitation trends - Answers becoming more common since the early 1990s
main benefits of marriage - Answers happier, healthier, wealthier
two sets of beliefs a child learns from interacting with their parents - Answers will others be there when
I need them?
am I worthy of love?
, secure attachment style: what does the parent do? - Answers responds appropriately, promptly and
consistently to child's needs
securely attached individuals are... - Answers OK with closeness, trust partners with distance, not fearful
of being abandoned by loved ones, easy to get close to others
securely attached individuals grow up to be... - Answers regulate their own emotions, more empathetic,
more self-control, more cooperative with other children, less aggressive, less depression
insecure avoidant attachment style: what does the parent do? - Answers little to no response to child in
distress, discourages crying, encourages independence, children think no one will be there for them
insecure avoidant individuals are... - Answers uncomfortable with too much closeness, hard time asking
for emotional needs to be met, more private, hard time opening up or asking for help, may prefer
partner that does not demand much from them
insecure anxious attachment style: what do the parents do? - Answers inconsistent between appropriate
and neglectful responses to child, child can't count on them because they're not always there when they
need them
insecure anxious individuals are... - Answers feel insecure in relationships, constant fear that their
partner doesn't love them, worries about being abandoned or rejected, clingy, frustrated over lack of
closeness, seeks love while simultaneously rebuffing it, seek high levels of intimacy, responsiveness, and
approval from partner
how to adjust negative attachment - Answers make connections with securely attached individuals
become more aware of your emotional response and what trigger them
call yourself out
reach out to other person, make them feel loved
incorporate healthy soothing techniques
family hero (the responsible one) - Answers perfectionist, does everything right, high achiever, the one
the family can be proud of
hard time accepting failure, intellectualize feelings or disregard them
scapegoat (the rebel) - Answers comfortable with negative attention, refuse to compete with the family
hero, take blame for family problems, grow up fast, express anger and hide sadness
rescuer/enabler (the peacemaker) - Answers want everyone to get along, help conflict go away, feel
responsible for everyone's emotional well-being, enables other's poor behavior at expense of own
desires or feelings, need to be needed