➔ Singlehood
◆ Singlehood can mean different things
● No romantic or sexual involvement with anyone
● Not in a committed relationship
● Never married
● U.S Census Bureau: Single = unmarried
◆ Experiences of Singlehood Depends on…
● Type of “single” you are
● Interest in a romantic relationship
● Relationship goals
● Goals in other areas of life
● Individual traits (age, gender, sexuality)
◆ Appraisals of Singlehood
● How you feel about being single
● Our study of your adults:
○ Allows them to pursue their goals (74.5%)
○ Singlehood is empowering (42.7%)
○ Singlehood is disappointing (38.8%)
◆ Reasons for Being Single
● Self-defeating reasons
○ Being single is outside of one’s control
○ Lack of ability to find partners
○ Not being attractive to others
○ Related to negative appraisals
● Self-Enhancing Reasonings
○ Benefits for being single for pursuing other goals and interests
○ Related to positive appraisals
● Lack of Interest
○ Reasons that made respondents want to avoid relationships in general
○ Poor prior experiences
○ Recently having broken up
○ Wasn’t related to appraisals
◆ Learning from Singlehood
● Pause and figure out what you want
● Invest in yourself
● Build other relationships
● Pursue other goals
● Turning point for some people’s relationship histories
●
,➔ Break ups
◆ Most relationships end
● Relationship histories study
● 256 relationships from 35 people
● 26 of them were partnered
● 230 break ups!
◆ Break ups are pain but normative
◆ They are part of romantic development for almost everyone
◆ They are sometimes (maybe often) a good thing
◆ Break ups become less likely with time
➔ Approaches to Breaking Up
◆ Direct vs. Indirect
◆ Other-oriented vs. self-oriented
◆ Ghosting
➔ The Break-up Script
◆ Relationships tend to go through a series of ups and downs as they end
◆ Most common pattern:
● Gradual
● Individual
● Indirect
● Non-mending
◆ Breakup Skills
● Known when to break up
● Following through on the breakup
● Accepting the break-up
● Avoiding delaying the break up
➔ Relationship Cycling
◆ Breaking up and getting back together
◆ Types:
● True breakup and try again
● Casual sex after break up
● Process of a long break up
◆ Relationships are less strong and more likely to be abusive if they cycle
➔ Broken Engagements
◆ More difficult due to more investments
◆ As the wedding gets closer…
● People revisit red flags
● Visualize the future
● Take space to make a decision
○ Ex. give me the ring back, spend time apart
● Garner social supports to help with the aftermath
➔ Breakups are Painful
◆ Psychological distress
◆ Substance abuse
, ◆ Rumination
◆ These feelings can be intense but they pass
◆ Singlehood can mean different things
● No romantic or sexual involvement with anyone
● Not in a committed relationship
● Never married
● U.S Census Bureau: Single = unmarried
◆ Experiences of Singlehood Depends on…
● Type of “single” you are
● Interest in a romantic relationship
● Relationship goals
● Goals in other areas of life
● Individual traits (age, gender, sexuality)
◆ Appraisals of Singlehood
● How you feel about being single
● Our study of your adults:
○ Allows them to pursue their goals (74.5%)
○ Singlehood is empowering (42.7%)
○ Singlehood is disappointing (38.8%)
◆ Reasons for Being Single
● Self-defeating reasons
○ Being single is outside of one’s control
○ Lack of ability to find partners
○ Not being attractive to others
○ Related to negative appraisals
● Self-Enhancing Reasonings
○ Benefits for being single for pursuing other goals and interests
○ Related to positive appraisals
● Lack of Interest
○ Reasons that made respondents want to avoid relationships in general
○ Poor prior experiences
○ Recently having broken up
○ Wasn’t related to appraisals
◆ Learning from Singlehood
● Pause and figure out what you want
● Invest in yourself
● Build other relationships
● Pursue other goals
● Turning point for some people’s relationship histories
●
,➔ Break ups
◆ Most relationships end
● Relationship histories study
● 256 relationships from 35 people
● 26 of them were partnered
● 230 break ups!
◆ Break ups are pain but normative
◆ They are part of romantic development for almost everyone
◆ They are sometimes (maybe often) a good thing
◆ Break ups become less likely with time
➔ Approaches to Breaking Up
◆ Direct vs. Indirect
◆ Other-oriented vs. self-oriented
◆ Ghosting
➔ The Break-up Script
◆ Relationships tend to go through a series of ups and downs as they end
◆ Most common pattern:
● Gradual
● Individual
● Indirect
● Non-mending
◆ Breakup Skills
● Known when to break up
● Following through on the breakup
● Accepting the break-up
● Avoiding delaying the break up
➔ Relationship Cycling
◆ Breaking up and getting back together
◆ Types:
● True breakup and try again
● Casual sex after break up
● Process of a long break up
◆ Relationships are less strong and more likely to be abusive if they cycle
➔ Broken Engagements
◆ More difficult due to more investments
◆ As the wedding gets closer…
● People revisit red flags
● Visualize the future
● Take space to make a decision
○ Ex. give me the ring back, spend time apart
● Garner social supports to help with the aftermath
➔ Breakups are Painful
◆ Psychological distress
◆ Substance abuse
, ◆ Rumination
◆ These feelings can be intense but they pass
