HOEKIE VIR EENSAMES
1. I was a very happily (gelukkige) divorced (geskeide) woman for a
few (klompie) years. I say “happily divorced” with the emphasis
(klem) on happily. But, without (sonder) planning it, an
insignificant (niksbeduidende) friendship with a colleague later
turned out (uitgeloop) on a marriage (troue). My cup (beker) of
joy (geluk) was overflowing (oorgeloop), but because I am rather
(redelik) naïve by nature (geaardheid), I forgot (vergeet) that a
new husband also implies (beteken) a new family.
2. I actually (eintlik) struck (getref) it lucky and my new family are all
rather (redelik) acceptable (aanvaarbaar) and they quickly (gou)
became (geword) my people (mense). Everyone except (behalwe)
my sister-in-law (skoonsus), Lalie.
3. My sister-in-law sometimes (soms) make (laat) me stare at her in
amazement (verdwasing), as if she comes from a land where the
birds all still (nog) fly backwards (agteruit). Luckily it wasn’t just
me who thought so, but her own (eie) family sometimes
wondered if she wasn’t maybe (dalk) accidentally (per ongeluk)
swapped (omgeruil) at birth (geboorte).
4. Skoonsus Lalie lives (lewe) on her own (eie) planet, where she is
the only (enigste) person (mens) who is entitled (geregtig) to a
life (lewe). She manipulates people as good as what a puppet
master (poppemeester) manipulates his puppets (marionette)
and she succeeds in (slaag in) always letting (laat) people feel like
THIS SUMMARY AND TRANSLATION IS THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF M SOUNES NO COPYING, SHARING OR
DISTRIBUTION ALLOWED, PLEASE
1
, they owe (skuld) her something (iets).
5. She will (sal) phone (bel) us at the last moment (op die
nippertjie), invite (nooi) herself for a meal (ete) and command
(opkommandeer) my poor (arme) tired (moeë) husband (man)
to take her to the shops (winkels) for her monthly (maandelikse)
grocery shopping (inkopies). We don’t understand (verstaan) how
(hoe) she does it, but it’s exactly (presies) twenty minutes before
(voor) closing time (toemaaktyd).
6. None (nie een) of us are capable (opgewasse) of putting her in
her place and to make her understand that she is demanding
(veeleisend), unreasonable (onredelik) and selfish (selfsugtig). If
one of us dare (waag) treat (behandel) her slightly (effe) chilly
(koel), and make an excuse (verskoning) to not do what she asks,
she punishes (straf) us by not phoning us for weeks. When we
then see her again, she says things with a twist (draai), and in an
accusational (beskuldiging) tone. For example: “Yes, I have now
been without (sonder) food for three days because I couldn’t get
to the shops (winkels). I also didn’t ask anyone to take (neem) me
because you are all so busy.” Her tactic is ingenious (vernuftig)
and works every (elke) time (keer), because before we realise it
(agterkom), we are on our way to the shops, exactly (presies)
twenty minutes before (voor) closing time. Nobody has dared
(gewaag) as her why (waarom) she has such a big problem,
especially (veral) since (aangesien) she only (slegs) lives (woon)
three blocks from the shopping centre (inkopiesentrum).
7. As it goes with every family, we often (gereeld) have gossip
(skinder) sessions (sessies) and Sus Lalie’s name pops up in every
THIS SUMMARY AND TRANSLATION IS THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF M SOUNES NO COPYING, SHARING OR
DISTRIBUTION ALLOWED, PLEASE
2
1. I was a very happily (gelukkige) divorced (geskeide) woman for a
few (klompie) years. I say “happily divorced” with the emphasis
(klem) on happily. But, without (sonder) planning it, an
insignificant (niksbeduidende) friendship with a colleague later
turned out (uitgeloop) on a marriage (troue). My cup (beker) of
joy (geluk) was overflowing (oorgeloop), but because I am rather
(redelik) naïve by nature (geaardheid), I forgot (vergeet) that a
new husband also implies (beteken) a new family.
2. I actually (eintlik) struck (getref) it lucky and my new family are all
rather (redelik) acceptable (aanvaarbaar) and they quickly (gou)
became (geword) my people (mense). Everyone except (behalwe)
my sister-in-law (skoonsus), Lalie.
3. My sister-in-law sometimes (soms) make (laat) me stare at her in
amazement (verdwasing), as if she comes from a land where the
birds all still (nog) fly backwards (agteruit). Luckily it wasn’t just
me who thought so, but her own (eie) family sometimes
wondered if she wasn’t maybe (dalk) accidentally (per ongeluk)
swapped (omgeruil) at birth (geboorte).
4. Skoonsus Lalie lives (lewe) on her own (eie) planet, where she is
the only (enigste) person (mens) who is entitled (geregtig) to a
life (lewe). She manipulates people as good as what a puppet
master (poppemeester) manipulates his puppets (marionette)
and she succeeds in (slaag in) always letting (laat) people feel like
THIS SUMMARY AND TRANSLATION IS THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF M SOUNES NO COPYING, SHARING OR
DISTRIBUTION ALLOWED, PLEASE
1
, they owe (skuld) her something (iets).
5. She will (sal) phone (bel) us at the last moment (op die
nippertjie), invite (nooi) herself for a meal (ete) and command
(opkommandeer) my poor (arme) tired (moeë) husband (man)
to take her to the shops (winkels) for her monthly (maandelikse)
grocery shopping (inkopies). We don’t understand (verstaan) how
(hoe) she does it, but it’s exactly (presies) twenty minutes before
(voor) closing time (toemaaktyd).
6. None (nie een) of us are capable (opgewasse) of putting her in
her place and to make her understand that she is demanding
(veeleisend), unreasonable (onredelik) and selfish (selfsugtig). If
one of us dare (waag) treat (behandel) her slightly (effe) chilly
(koel), and make an excuse (verskoning) to not do what she asks,
she punishes (straf) us by not phoning us for weeks. When we
then see her again, she says things with a twist (draai), and in an
accusational (beskuldiging) tone. For example: “Yes, I have now
been without (sonder) food for three days because I couldn’t get
to the shops (winkels). I also didn’t ask anyone to take (neem) me
because you are all so busy.” Her tactic is ingenious (vernuftig)
and works every (elke) time (keer), because before we realise it
(agterkom), we are on our way to the shops, exactly (presies)
twenty minutes before (voor) closing time. Nobody has dared
(gewaag) as her why (waarom) she has such a big problem,
especially (veral) since (aangesien) she only (slegs) lives (woon)
three blocks from the shopping centre (inkopiesentrum).
7. As it goes with every family, we often (gereeld) have gossip
(skinder) sessions (sessies) and Sus Lalie’s name pops up in every
THIS SUMMARY AND TRANSLATION IS THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF M SOUNES NO COPYING, SHARING OR
DISTRIBUTION ALLOWED, PLEASE
2
