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The Hands That Made Us

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My grandmother had always been one of my biggest supporters, and we had been very close ever since I was a child. When I was young she would let me slice the cheddar blocks for macaroni and cheese—she hated making anything from a box. And of course when I began elementary school she began teaching me how to make strawberry jam, with fruit we would pick ourselves every May. After we mastered that, she went on to salsa. Every summer we would peel, chop, mash, and boil tomatoes, peppers, garlic, and a slew of seasonings to make over 70 jars of salsa for the winter. I never liked salsa until I tried hers and now I can’t eat anything else. But my grandmother wasn’t the only one in my family who believed you can only succeed in life if you know how to cook. Her sister, my Aunt Pearl, brought not only a dish to Christmas but she would pack an entire bag of ingredients for us to bake cookies that afternoon. I’m not even sure how old I was when this tradition started but the recipe will forever be engraved in my brain. I will never forget watching my aunt measure out the cups of flour, while I got to crack a couple of eggs into the bowl filled with creamed butter and sugar. These memories live in my bones; they are the texture of my childhood, the scent of my summers, and the flavor of every holiday when my great-grandmother and many aunts were alive.

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ENG190​ ​ ​ Elizabeth Van Deren​ ​ ​ 09/03/2025

The Hands That Made Us
A Reflection on “Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner”

I have a vivid memory of the last time I saw my great-grandmother alive. She was

a mighty eighty two, and I was a mere fourteen years old when I asked for her bread

recipe. Her fingers—delicate and stiff from age and injury—could no longer hold a pen.

So I sat down beside her, on the beautiful floral couch I once took naps on after

Thanksgiving dinner as a child, and I carefully recorded the last gift my great-

grandmother would ever give me—a bread recipe I would never be able to recreate. No

baker and no amount of yeast, flour, or water, can resurrect the taste or cloud-like

consistency my grandmother once conjured. Ever since I was young, I have been

surrounded by homemade food infused with love, especially during the holidays. My

grandmother, Mary, would bake a delightful coconut cake, my Aunt Nellie would bring a

sweet strawberry marshmallow dip to dollop on top of homemade ice cream, alongside a

savory cheddar cheese spread to go with Ritz crackers. Aunt Pearl, without fail, would

always bring the most wonderful mashed potatoes, perfectly creamy. And to this day, my

mother still makes pinwheels on Christmas—tortillas rolled up and cut into tiny spirals

with cream cheese, green onions, cheese, and olives inside. Though many of my relatives

are too old or far to travel back home to southern Missouri now, my family continues to

try and recreate the traditional dishes our great-grandparents and aunts used to make, not

just for the taste but the memories the bring as well, just like Michelle Zauner says in her

essay Crying in H Mart.

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