Summary Chapter 5 - Social Development

Chapter 5
Social development
Adult relationships
Intimacy
 Derived from Latin – intimus = inner
 Means establishing closeness with another person
 Develops from self-disclosure
» Process - share your thoughts, feelings and experiences
» Must be reciprocal
o Mutual contributions
o Give and take
 Express openness
 Experience self-knowledge
 Fear of intimacy = emotional unresponsiveness / negative self esteem
 Establishing intimacy = critical development task
» Marking entry into adulthood
o Failure = hinders development/ negative implications across life span
 First have to establish a personal identity
» Know themselves before they can love another
o Failure = feel threatened by long term relationships
 overly dependent on partner as a source of identity
 True intimacy = difficult task
» Conflict between desire for commitment & desire for independence
» Result = Genital intimacy
o Young adults form relationships based on sexual intimacy without emotional
intimacy.
 Can lead to isolation
 Lower levels intimacy in marriage = higher levels of loneliness
 Relationship statues = degree of intimacy
» Major influence on romantic/ general loneliness
 Intimacy = the fusion of two identities
» Freedom to remain an individual.
 Any relationships with an emotional bond
 Erikson = Intimacy versus isolation
» Resolved crisis = close give-take-relationships &with love

Love
 Complex emotion that consists of many facets.
 Emotional interdependence / vulnerability
 Characterised = deep affection for another person
 Influenced by
» Personalities of persons involved

, » Developmental stages
» Gender differences
» Cultural-historical context
 Capacity to love = inherently human tendency – powerful effects on wellbeing (infancy – old
age)
 Strong biological component
» Physiological responses = heart racing/ sweaty palms/ flushed cheeks/ loss of
appetite
» Various biochemical
o Dopamine – effect on genitals / sweat glands
 feelings of excitement
o Testosterone – increases sexual desire
o Oxytocin – cuddle hormone / love hormone
 Released when cuddling
 Released when bonding socially
 Maternal instinct
 Orgasms
 Friendship
 Monogamy
 Increases likelihood of aggression / violence
 Robert Sternberg = Triangular theory of love
» 3 components
o Passion
 Intense feelings - toward
another person
 Beginning of relationship
 Infatuation
 Physical attraction is central
 Intimacy has not yet been
established
 Short lived
o Intimacy
 Development of reciprocal trust/ openness / acceptance
 Honest exchange of feelings
 No fear of being rejected
 Essential for relationship to grow/ develop
 Basis of close relationships

o Commitment
 Conscious decision to maintain the love relationship
 Care for and support each other.
» Presence or absence =
o Liking:
 Includes only intimacy
o Infatuation:
 Based on Passion
 Intimacy and commitment is lacking

, o Empty Love:
 Based on Commitment,
 Intimacy and passion is lacking
o Romantic love:
 Passion and intimacy
o Fatuous love:
 Passion and commitment
o Companionate love:
 Intimacy and commitment
o Consummate love:
 Consists of all 3 components: passion, intimacy and commitment
o Stand the test of time
o Survive all development-related changes
o Not all 3 components are equally strong
o Qualitive shifts
 Whom do people fall in love with?
» Equity theory (economic theory)
o Close relationships - believe that what they are getting of the relationship is
proportional to what they are putting into it.
o Calculate the costs and benefits involved in interacting
o Criticised
 Based purely on mutual exchange and is compared to a business
deal.
 Ignored the feelings that people bring to their relationships
o We do not have relationships became they benefit us
o We have relationships because we love them
» Assortative mating theory:
o Mating based on similar or opposite characteristics.
 Religious beliefs / physical traits / age /socio-economic status /
intelligence and political ideology
o At first - Attracted to those with similar values, attitudes and beliefs
 Fundamental to how people live their lives
o Once in the relationships = personality similarities NB!!
 Take longer to know
 Influences marital happiness
o Regular interaction
o Extensive coordination
 Personality differences = causes friction / conflict in daily life
 Do all cultures value same characteristics??
» Cultural preferences
o Chasity (virginity)
 Most variability
o Some highly desired
o Some does not matter
» Gender differences
o Consistent across cultures
 Men = physical attractiveness