Jefferson
Ceniya Jefferson
Diagnostic Essay
2022
Why I Continue…
There were times in my life when my motivation was in decline. To persist was a
challenge at times, but the obstacles to achievement were worth it. My home life felt like
motivation. My parents are separated along with having no relationship with either. I take care of
myself and depend on them financially until I’m an adult. My grandparents were my parents.
They raised me to be a respectable, beloved person until one left us and a terminal illness spread
across my family. I learned to mature quickly, express my thoughts in writing instead of
rebellious behavior, and conjure with adults due to neglect.
The Decline
Having a lack of communication, facing abandonment and trauma from a passing life,
along with taking over house labor set me into a spiral. I had nowhere to think and no way to feel
free or enjoy a life worth living. Writing gives me the life jacket in the middle of the sea, where
it gives me structure, and discipline in an open space to be myself. During that time, I didn’t
want to do anything. It seemed as though I wasn’t qualified, and I didn’t have the
family/financial support for any of it. When living to breathe creates a balanced environment for
peace of mind while trying to appeal to grown adults, it becomes an exhausting cycle of
melancholy.
Ceniya Jefferson
Diagnostic Essay
2022
Why I Continue…
There were times in my life when my motivation was in decline. To persist was a
challenge at times, but the obstacles to achievement were worth it. My home life felt like
motivation. My parents are separated along with having no relationship with either. I take care of
myself and depend on them financially until I’m an adult. My grandparents were my parents.
They raised me to be a respectable, beloved person until one left us and a terminal illness spread
across my family. I learned to mature quickly, express my thoughts in writing instead of
rebellious behavior, and conjure with adults due to neglect.
The Decline
Having a lack of communication, facing abandonment and trauma from a passing life,
along with taking over house labor set me into a spiral. I had nowhere to think and no way to feel
free or enjoy a life worth living. Writing gives me the life jacket in the middle of the sea, where
it gives me structure, and discipline in an open space to be myself. During that time, I didn’t
want to do anything. It seemed as though I wasn’t qualified, and I didn’t have the
family/financial support for any of it. When living to breathe creates a balanced environment for
peace of mind while trying to appeal to grown adults, it becomes an exhausting cycle of
melancholy.
