Compare how poets present relationships between parents and children in
‘Before You Were Mine’ and one other poem from ‘Love and Relationships’.
(30 marks)
Intrinsically, in both ‘Before You Were Mine’ and ‘Mother Any Distance’, relationships between
parents and children are presented as secure and strong. Both poems explore the impact of time
on a familial relationship however, Before You Were Mine talks about the impact of the
relationship whereas Mother Any Distance focuses on the changing nature of the relationship.
In Before You Were Mine, we see a strong and happy relationship. The daughter has admiration
and reverence towards her mother’s past life before she had a child. The speaker views the
mother’s life as glamorous when remarking that “your polka-dot dress blows round your legs.
Marilyn”. The poet presents the mother as a beautiful figure and compares her to the celebrity
Marilyn Monroe who was known for her glamour and beauty. This could mirror how the speaker
views her mother. Furthermore, the use of caesura before “Marilyn” highlights the glamour and
beauty of her mother. She is ensorceled by her mother’s beauty and wants to emphasise it. In
Addition, their strong, unbreakable bond is further proven when the speaker describes shoes
from her mother's past as “relics”. She feels that the shoes are a special part of her mother’s life
and views them as timeless artefacts. This conveys her awe towards her mother and may suggest
the pride she feels when reflecting on her mother's beauty.
Throughout Before You Were Mine, the mother and daughter have a strong understanding of one
another. The daughter teases the mother and remarks “Whose small bites on your neck,
sweetheart?”. The rhetorical question and term of endearment switches the roles of the mother
and daughter. Instead of the mother questioning the daughter, the daughter questions her. This
gives a sense of familiarity and security; the daughter feels comfortable enough to tease her
mother, reinforcing their understanding and strong bonds. Arguably, the entire poem is a symbol
of the predetermined fate of women to change their lifestyles and become women. They would
have been expected to conform to society’s expectations of being good mothers. Perhaps the poet
chose to write the poem for this very reason; to bring societal issues to light. This proves the
strong understanding between the poet and her mother. The daughter understands her mother’s
sacrifices and wants to appreciate her previous life. This is evident when she compares her
mother to Marylin Monroe; a celebrity who committed suicide. Perhaps by comparing her
mother to someone who has faced such a tragic death, the poet is attempting to symbolise the
death of her mother’s previous life. This is further highlighted when the mother’s “ghost clatters”
towards the daughter. The auditory imagery of “clatter” can imply that her mother is in heels.
This could symbolise her past life and by comparing it to a “ghost” the poet is attempting to
highlight the end of that glamorous, ostentatious lifestyle. By acknowledging her mother’s
‘Before You Were Mine’ and one other poem from ‘Love and Relationships’.
(30 marks)
Intrinsically, in both ‘Before You Were Mine’ and ‘Mother Any Distance’, relationships between
parents and children are presented as secure and strong. Both poems explore the impact of time
on a familial relationship however, Before You Were Mine talks about the impact of the
relationship whereas Mother Any Distance focuses on the changing nature of the relationship.
In Before You Were Mine, we see a strong and happy relationship. The daughter has admiration
and reverence towards her mother’s past life before she had a child. The speaker views the
mother’s life as glamorous when remarking that “your polka-dot dress blows round your legs.
Marilyn”. The poet presents the mother as a beautiful figure and compares her to the celebrity
Marilyn Monroe who was known for her glamour and beauty. This could mirror how the speaker
views her mother. Furthermore, the use of caesura before “Marilyn” highlights the glamour and
beauty of her mother. She is ensorceled by her mother’s beauty and wants to emphasise it. In
Addition, their strong, unbreakable bond is further proven when the speaker describes shoes
from her mother's past as “relics”. She feels that the shoes are a special part of her mother’s life
and views them as timeless artefacts. This conveys her awe towards her mother and may suggest
the pride she feels when reflecting on her mother's beauty.
Throughout Before You Were Mine, the mother and daughter have a strong understanding of one
another. The daughter teases the mother and remarks “Whose small bites on your neck,
sweetheart?”. The rhetorical question and term of endearment switches the roles of the mother
and daughter. Instead of the mother questioning the daughter, the daughter questions her. This
gives a sense of familiarity and security; the daughter feels comfortable enough to tease her
mother, reinforcing their understanding and strong bonds. Arguably, the entire poem is a symbol
of the predetermined fate of women to change their lifestyles and become women. They would
have been expected to conform to society’s expectations of being good mothers. Perhaps the poet
chose to write the poem for this very reason; to bring societal issues to light. This proves the
strong understanding between the poet and her mother. The daughter understands her mother’s
sacrifices and wants to appreciate her previous life. This is evident when she compares her
mother to Marylin Monroe; a celebrity who committed suicide. Perhaps by comparing her
mother to someone who has faced such a tragic death, the poet is attempting to symbolise the
death of her mother’s previous life. This is further highlighted when the mother’s “ghost clatters”
towards the daughter. The auditory imagery of “clatter” can imply that her mother is in heels.
This could symbolise her past life and by comparing it to a “ghost” the poet is attempting to
highlight the end of that glamorous, ostentatious lifestyle. By acknowledging her mother’s
