CHAPTER 13
Peer Relationships
HOMER WINSLOW (1836–1910), Snap the Whip (oil on canvas, 1872)
Play
Friendships
Status in the Peer Group
The Role of Parents in Children’s Peer Relationships
THEMES
NATURE AND NURTURE
THE ACTIVE CHILD
CONTINUITY/DISCONTINUITY
, THE SOCIOCULTURAL CONTEXT
INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES
RESEARCH AND CHILDREN’S WELFARE
“Why did you do all this for me?” he asked. “I don’t
deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you.”
“You have been my friend,” replied Charlotte. “That
in itself is a tremendous thing.”
— E. B. White, Charlotte’s Web
As this quote from E. B. White’s classic work of children’s literature
suggests, friendships motivate many of our behaviours, actions, and
beliefs. They influence the formation of our identities and provide
powerful indications of who we are and who we might become.
Friends — and peers in general — are an important part of our lives,
whether they are from our workplace, our school, our community, or
even our past. The Internet has made it much easier to connect with
friends and associates, and texts and instant messaging have made
keeping in touch quicker and easier than ever. Facebook even made
“friend” into a verb — which of course was quickly followed by its
antithetical verb, “unfriend.”
,In the digital era, peer relationships can span the globe and develop
between individuals who have never met in person but who
communicate in real-time through online video, messaging, or
gaming applications. A survey of 13- to 17-year-olds in the United
States revealed that 57% had made at least one friend online and 29%
had met five or more friends online, but only 20% had actually met
their online friend in person (Lenhart, Smith, & Anderson, 2015).
Though comparable data is not readily available for Canadian
adolescents, the patterns are likely similar. Parents or teachers likely
have little influence over or knowledge about whom children meet
and interact with online, meaning that children have more control
than ever before over who constitutes their peer groups.
Clearly, the people in children’s lives outside their families can have a
strong influence on them, both for good and for bad. This influence
becomes increasingly important as children become older and spend
more time with their peers, who are children of their own age and
status to whom they are not related (Rubin, Bukowski, & Bowker,
2015). And though children can have close and warm relationships
with their siblings, the peers that a child considers to be friends are
uniquely different from siblings because those friends are chosen by
the child.
peers
people of approximately the same age and status who are unrelated to one another
Many theorists throughout the years have argued that peer
, relationships provide special opportunities for children’s
development. Piaget (1932/1965) suggested that because children are
relatively equal in social status, they tend to be more open and
spontaneous when expressing their ideas and beliefs with peers than
with adults. Similarly, Vygotsky (1978) observed that children learn
new skills and develop their cognitive capacities in peer interactions;
he emphasized the ways in which children’s working together helps
to build new skills and abilities, as well as to convey the knowledge
and skills valued by the culture.
In this chapter, we consider the special nature of peer interactions
and their implications for children’s social development. First, we
look at the nature of play, which is one of the most important
methods through which children interact. Then we turn to
friendships, the most intimate form of peer relationships, and
consider questions such as: How do children’s interactions with
friends differ from those with other peers? How do friendships
change with age? What do children get out of friendships, and how do
they think about them?
Peer Relationships
HOMER WINSLOW (1836–1910), Snap the Whip (oil on canvas, 1872)
Play
Friendships
Status in the Peer Group
The Role of Parents in Children’s Peer Relationships
THEMES
NATURE AND NURTURE
THE ACTIVE CHILD
CONTINUITY/DISCONTINUITY
, THE SOCIOCULTURAL CONTEXT
INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES
RESEARCH AND CHILDREN’S WELFARE
“Why did you do all this for me?” he asked. “I don’t
deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you.”
“You have been my friend,” replied Charlotte. “That
in itself is a tremendous thing.”
— E. B. White, Charlotte’s Web
As this quote from E. B. White’s classic work of children’s literature
suggests, friendships motivate many of our behaviours, actions, and
beliefs. They influence the formation of our identities and provide
powerful indications of who we are and who we might become.
Friends — and peers in general — are an important part of our lives,
whether they are from our workplace, our school, our community, or
even our past. The Internet has made it much easier to connect with
friends and associates, and texts and instant messaging have made
keeping in touch quicker and easier than ever. Facebook even made
“friend” into a verb — which of course was quickly followed by its
antithetical verb, “unfriend.”
,In the digital era, peer relationships can span the globe and develop
between individuals who have never met in person but who
communicate in real-time through online video, messaging, or
gaming applications. A survey of 13- to 17-year-olds in the United
States revealed that 57% had made at least one friend online and 29%
had met five or more friends online, but only 20% had actually met
their online friend in person (Lenhart, Smith, & Anderson, 2015).
Though comparable data is not readily available for Canadian
adolescents, the patterns are likely similar. Parents or teachers likely
have little influence over or knowledge about whom children meet
and interact with online, meaning that children have more control
than ever before over who constitutes their peer groups.
Clearly, the people in children’s lives outside their families can have a
strong influence on them, both for good and for bad. This influence
becomes increasingly important as children become older and spend
more time with their peers, who are children of their own age and
status to whom they are not related (Rubin, Bukowski, & Bowker,
2015). And though children can have close and warm relationships
with their siblings, the peers that a child considers to be friends are
uniquely different from siblings because those friends are chosen by
the child.
peers
people of approximately the same age and status who are unrelated to one another
Many theorists throughout the years have argued that peer
, relationships provide special opportunities for children’s
development. Piaget (1932/1965) suggested that because children are
relatively equal in social status, they tend to be more open and
spontaneous when expressing their ideas and beliefs with peers than
with adults. Similarly, Vygotsky (1978) observed that children learn
new skills and develop their cognitive capacities in peer interactions;
he emphasized the ways in which children’s working together helps
to build new skills and abilities, as well as to convey the knowledge
and skills valued by the culture.
In this chapter, we consider the special nature of peer interactions
and their implications for children’s social development. First, we
look at the nature of play, which is one of the most important
methods through which children interact. Then we turn to
friendships, the most intimate form of peer relationships, and
consider questions such as: How do children’s interactions with
friends differ from those with other peers? How do friendships
change with age? What do children get out of friendships, and how do
they think about them?
