COMM 105 Notes
Chapter 1: Standing Up for Your Point of View
The Purpose of Arguing
● Arguing can be constructive, not combative.
● Good argumentation promotes critical thinking and constructive conflict resolution.
● Example: Netflix vs. Blockbuster
○ Blockbuster rejected Netflix’s offer due to poor critical evaluation.
○ Result: Netflix succeeded, Blockbuster failed.
● Bad decisions often stem from failure to analyze arguments critically.
Conflict & Communication
● Conflict is unavoidable and should not be feared.
● People avoid conflict due to fear of rejection, low self-esteem, or lack of skills.
● Avoidance leads to:
○ Emotional suppression
○ Irrational fear reinforcement
○ Missed personal growth
Definition of Conflict
● A state of opposition between people due to differing goals, ideas, or expectations.
● Derived from Latin conflictus (“to strike together”).
Types of Conflict
● Simple Conflict: Focused on specific issues (e.g., money, sex, parenting).
● Pseudo Conflict: Miscommunication; misunderstanding leads to false conflict.
● Ego Conflict: Involves self-esteem or pride; hardest to resolve (e.g., historical duel: Burr vs.
Hamilton).
Relationship Argumentation
● All couples argue; the key is whether arguments are constructive.
● Fair fighting rules include:
○ Stick to the issue.
, ○ Avoid personal attacks.
○ Understand deeper emotional needs.
○ Time arguments wisely.
○ Avoid “garbage bagging” (bringing up unrelated past issues).
○ Don’t “play psychologist” or claim moral superiority.
Behavioral Approaches to Conflict
Passive (Nonassertive)
● Avoid conflict at all costs.
● Message: “My feelings don’t matter.”
● Lives in a Lose/Win mindset.
Aggressive
● Dominates others, often through disrespect.
● Message: “Only I matter.”
● Win/Lose mindset; leads to resentment.
Assertive
● Balances honesty and respect.
● Message: “Here’s how I see it, but I respect your view.”
● Win/Win approach; seeks mutual understanding.
Indirect Aggression
● Hostility expressed through:
○ Guiltmaking
○ Blaming
○ Changing the subject
○ Sarcasm
○ Withholding
○ “Kitchen sink” arguments
“Whiner” Behavior
● Complains but takes no action. Seeks sympathy without resolution.
, Solving Conflict Through Understanding
● Seek first to understand, then be understood (Steven Covey).
● Understand motivations and logic behind the opposing view.
● Admit when the other person has a better argument:
○ Sign of intellectual growth, not weakness.
○ Avoid dogmatism and ego-driven attachment to ideas.
Winning by Losing
● Winning may boost ego, but losing can lead to growth.
● TED Talk (Daniel H. Cohen): Argue to reveal truth, not just to win.
● Argument should aim for truth larger than ego.
● Critical thinkers welcome new information and aren’t afraid to change.
Chapter 2: Communicating an Argument