Psychology Relationship Notes
Duck’s Phase Model of Relationship Breakdown
Steven Duck (2007) created a phase model that suggested that relationship breakdown is
not a single event but a process that consists of several distinctive stages that a couple
progresses through.
Intra-psychic stage- This is when a person admits to himself or herself that they are
dissatisfied with their relationship, and they spend a lot of time thinking about the reasons for
this dissatisfaction, possible ways forward and the costs and benefits of staying in that
relationship. This stage focuses on a person's internal thought process that occurs before
confronting the partner. Before a person moves to the next stage, they reach a threshold of
thinking 'I can't stand this anymore'.
Dyadic- occurs when a person confronts their partner and voices their dissatisfaction. At this
stage there are a lot of complaints coming from the partner initiating the break-up; common
complaints involve a partner's commitment to relationships. The dissatisfied partner also
rethinks the alternatives to their current relationships. The threshold that is reached at this
stage is: 'I would be justified in withdrawing'.
Social phase-up to this point, the couple generally kept their disagreements private, but now
they involve friends and relatives and make their distress public. According to Duck, once
the conflict reaches this stage, it is more difficult for a couple to mend their relationship:
friends and family will take sides, intervene in the couple's relationship and offer advice,
which makes reconciliation much more problematic. The threshold at this stage is 'I mean it'.
The social phase usually leads to the dissolution of the relationship.
Grave-dressing-Having left their partner, both sides construct their version of why their
relationship broke down, usually minimising their faults and maximising their partner's, but at
the same time trying to show themselves as trustworthy and loyal in order to attract a new
partner. Signifying the closure of the previous relationship and readiness to start a new one.
The threshold here is, unsurprisingly, 'It's time to start a new life'.
Resurrection stage-Duck added this phase in 2006, referring to when the partners move
beyond the pain of breaking up and experience personal growth. There is no set threshold
for this stage.
The existence and role of the break-up phases described in Duck's model are supported by
scientific research. For example, Tashiro and Frasier (2003) showed that viewing the
situation, rather than own faults, as being responsible for ending the relationships, helps
people to see the break-up in a more positive light and move on, just as Duck's model
predicts. This strengthens the claims made by the model and highlights the application of the
theory to everyday relationships.
Duck's model has useful applications, especially in relation to couples’ counselling. Couples
may be advised to use different strategies depending on the phase they are currently in. For
example, for a person in the intra-psychic phase it may be more useful to shift their attention
to the positive aspects of their partner's personality, while for a couple in the dyadic phase
communication about dissatisfaction and ways to balance relationships is crucial. This
shows that Duck's model of relationship breakdown can be used successfully to help
couples contemplating break-up to improve their relationships and stay together.
Duck’s Phase Model of Relationship Breakdown
Steven Duck (2007) created a phase model that suggested that relationship breakdown is
not a single event but a process that consists of several distinctive stages that a couple
progresses through.
Intra-psychic stage- This is when a person admits to himself or herself that they are
dissatisfied with their relationship, and they spend a lot of time thinking about the reasons for
this dissatisfaction, possible ways forward and the costs and benefits of staying in that
relationship. This stage focuses on a person's internal thought process that occurs before
confronting the partner. Before a person moves to the next stage, they reach a threshold of
thinking 'I can't stand this anymore'.
Dyadic- occurs when a person confronts their partner and voices their dissatisfaction. At this
stage there are a lot of complaints coming from the partner initiating the break-up; common
complaints involve a partner's commitment to relationships. The dissatisfied partner also
rethinks the alternatives to their current relationships. The threshold that is reached at this
stage is: 'I would be justified in withdrawing'.
Social phase-up to this point, the couple generally kept their disagreements private, but now
they involve friends and relatives and make their distress public. According to Duck, once
the conflict reaches this stage, it is more difficult for a couple to mend their relationship:
friends and family will take sides, intervene in the couple's relationship and offer advice,
which makes reconciliation much more problematic. The threshold at this stage is 'I mean it'.
The social phase usually leads to the dissolution of the relationship.
Grave-dressing-Having left their partner, both sides construct their version of why their
relationship broke down, usually minimising their faults and maximising their partner's, but at
the same time trying to show themselves as trustworthy and loyal in order to attract a new
partner. Signifying the closure of the previous relationship and readiness to start a new one.
The threshold here is, unsurprisingly, 'It's time to start a new life'.
Resurrection stage-Duck added this phase in 2006, referring to when the partners move
beyond the pain of breaking up and experience personal growth. There is no set threshold
for this stage.
The existence and role of the break-up phases described in Duck's model are supported by
scientific research. For example, Tashiro and Frasier (2003) showed that viewing the
situation, rather than own faults, as being responsible for ending the relationships, helps
people to see the break-up in a more positive light and move on, just as Duck's model
predicts. This strengthens the claims made by the model and highlights the application of the
theory to everyday relationships.
Duck's model has useful applications, especially in relation to couples’ counselling. Couples
may be advised to use different strategies depending on the phase they are currently in. For
example, for a person in the intra-psychic phase it may be more useful to shift their attention
to the positive aspects of their partner's personality, while for a couple in the dyadic phase
communication about dissatisfaction and ways to balance relationships is crucial. This
shows that Duck's model of relationship breakdown can be used successfully to help
couples contemplating break-up to improve their relationships and stay together.
