Spy 120 TEST 2025/2026 QUESTIONS AND 100% ANSWERS GRADE
A
Lecture: Relationship Maintenance -
Intimate relationships are more ____ than we anticipate in the long run - costly
lessons from same-gender couples - Equality and equal power
Soothe each other better, do not take negative comments as personally, affection and humour after
conflict, less control tactics, openly talk about monogamy and non, BIG ONE: divide housework
based on time and talent NOT traditional gender roles
Having a kid affects which parents salary? - Women not men. Earnings drop for women after having a
child
Housework split equally in half- happiness levels - Husbands are less happy that wives
Caution for relationships - Lack of effort over time
Interdependence is a magnifying glass
Access to relationship weaponry
Unwelcome surprises ex. pregnant
Willingness to Sacrifice- 2 different kinds - Passive: forego the things you want to do
Active: do things you do not want to do
2 motives for sacrifice - approach: ex. to make partner happy
avoid motives: avoiding anticipated cost ex. so my partner won't be mad at me.
What happens when we make avoidance sacrifices? - more negative affect, feel worse about
relationship, more conflict (strong correlations found in study).
Make an avoidance sacrifice today, more likely to have an argument with your partner tomorrow.
Goal pursuit in relationships - Partners help us achieve our own personal goals.
, Study: when people were in goal primed condition (goal activated in their mind), they felt closer to
that instrumental friend (the one that helps them achieve their goal) versus the control.
Takeaway: you will feel closer to a partner that helps you/encourages you to achieve your goals
Social support diagram - Stressor occurs- SS(support seeker) asks partner for help - CG (caregiver)
listens- CG gives support- SS receives- this affects how SS asks in the future
4 different ways people ask for support + usual reactions from CG - 1. Ask (direct/verbal) -CG could
feel needed
2. Cry (direct/nonverbal) - CG could be confused
3. Complain (indirect/verbal) - CG could be annoyed
4. Sulk (indirect/nonverbal) - CG could not notice
What not to do when asking for support - - Not asking but expecting support anyways (no mind
reading)
- Not knowing what you want but being unhappy with what you get (figure out what you want)
- Insult, blame, attack the person you want support from
- asking the wrong person at the wrong time (ex. asking someone you are angry with for support on
that issue)
Who to ask for support - Ask the person who is not affected by the problem so they have the
resources for help. For example- spouse loses job and this is stressing you out. Do not go to spouse
for support because they are affected by stressor to, go to someone else.
What not to do when caregiving - 1. Denying feelings "Don't be depressed, cheers up!"
2. Denying perspective "It's not that bad"
3. Judgmental and blaming statements "that is stupid why would you do that"
4. One-upping- they tell their story to try to relate but miss the mark
5. Interrupting and cutting off
6. Ignoring
What to do when approaching someone, versus being the caregiver - Approaching: ask the right
person, ask directly
A
Lecture: Relationship Maintenance -
Intimate relationships are more ____ than we anticipate in the long run - costly
lessons from same-gender couples - Equality and equal power
Soothe each other better, do not take negative comments as personally, affection and humour after
conflict, less control tactics, openly talk about monogamy and non, BIG ONE: divide housework
based on time and talent NOT traditional gender roles
Having a kid affects which parents salary? - Women not men. Earnings drop for women after having a
child
Housework split equally in half- happiness levels - Husbands are less happy that wives
Caution for relationships - Lack of effort over time
Interdependence is a magnifying glass
Access to relationship weaponry
Unwelcome surprises ex. pregnant
Willingness to Sacrifice- 2 different kinds - Passive: forego the things you want to do
Active: do things you do not want to do
2 motives for sacrifice - approach: ex. to make partner happy
avoid motives: avoiding anticipated cost ex. so my partner won't be mad at me.
What happens when we make avoidance sacrifices? - more negative affect, feel worse about
relationship, more conflict (strong correlations found in study).
Make an avoidance sacrifice today, more likely to have an argument with your partner tomorrow.
Goal pursuit in relationships - Partners help us achieve our own personal goals.
, Study: when people were in goal primed condition (goal activated in their mind), they felt closer to
that instrumental friend (the one that helps them achieve their goal) versus the control.
Takeaway: you will feel closer to a partner that helps you/encourages you to achieve your goals
Social support diagram - Stressor occurs- SS(support seeker) asks partner for help - CG (caregiver)
listens- CG gives support- SS receives- this affects how SS asks in the future
4 different ways people ask for support + usual reactions from CG - 1. Ask (direct/verbal) -CG could
feel needed
2. Cry (direct/nonverbal) - CG could be confused
3. Complain (indirect/verbal) - CG could be annoyed
4. Sulk (indirect/nonverbal) - CG could not notice
What not to do when asking for support - - Not asking but expecting support anyways (no mind
reading)
- Not knowing what you want but being unhappy with what you get (figure out what you want)
- Insult, blame, attack the person you want support from
- asking the wrong person at the wrong time (ex. asking someone you are angry with for support on
that issue)
Who to ask for support - Ask the person who is not affected by the problem so they have the
resources for help. For example- spouse loses job and this is stressing you out. Do not go to spouse
for support because they are affected by stressor to, go to someone else.
What not to do when caregiving - 1. Denying feelings "Don't be depressed, cheers up!"
2. Denying perspective "It's not that bad"
3. Judgmental and blaming statements "that is stupid why would you do that"
4. One-upping- they tell their story to try to relate but miss the mark
5. Interrupting and cutting off
6. Ignoring
What to do when approaching someone, versus being the caregiver - Approaching: ask the right
person, ask directly
