➔ Addressing questions from last time:
◆ 2 Mechanisms connect attachment style to relationship functioning
● Relationship skills
● Attachment style
◆ Secure couples have higher satisfaction than couples with two insecure of mixed
attachment
◆ Matched aren’t necessarily better off
◆ Secure attachment is related to both masculinity and femininity
◆ Masculinity is linked to dismissing attachment
◆ Femininity is linked to fearful-preoccupied attachment
➔ Six Love Styles
◆ Eros – intense emotional attachment and powerful sexual desire
◆ Storge – affectionate, companionate style of loving focused on friendship
◆ Pragma – involves rational assessment of a pattern’s assets and liabilities
◆ Agape – unselfish concern for others needs even when that requires personal
sacrifice
◆ Ludus – playful, no commitment
◆ Mania – obsession, emotional intensity, insatiable need for attention and
affection
➔ Finding a Partner
◆ Approaches to Relationships:
● Destiny Beliefs – looking for “the one”
○ Once you find them everything will be smooth
○ More rigid, less room for change
● Growth Beliefs – relationships strengthen through experience
○ More flexible
○ Related to more stable and satisfying relationships
● Great relationships are formed, not found
◆ Avoid these myths about relationships:
● The right person will meet all my needs
● I can change my partner
● Love will conquer all
● Sex will always be amazing
● Partners should be able to read each other’s minds
◆ Matching
● Individuals tend to select partners who are similar to themselves
● Including attractiveness
◆ Annoying Traits
● Everyone has them
● They typically get more intense over time
● Choose a partner whose annoying traits don’t bother you that much
➔ Relationship Development
◆ People pass through predictable stages as they from any kind of relationship
● Initiating – do we have a connection
◆ 2 Mechanisms connect attachment style to relationship functioning
● Relationship skills
● Attachment style
◆ Secure couples have higher satisfaction than couples with two insecure of mixed
attachment
◆ Matched aren’t necessarily better off
◆ Secure attachment is related to both masculinity and femininity
◆ Masculinity is linked to dismissing attachment
◆ Femininity is linked to fearful-preoccupied attachment
➔ Six Love Styles
◆ Eros – intense emotional attachment and powerful sexual desire
◆ Storge – affectionate, companionate style of loving focused on friendship
◆ Pragma – involves rational assessment of a pattern’s assets and liabilities
◆ Agape – unselfish concern for others needs even when that requires personal
sacrifice
◆ Ludus – playful, no commitment
◆ Mania – obsession, emotional intensity, insatiable need for attention and
affection
➔ Finding a Partner
◆ Approaches to Relationships:
● Destiny Beliefs – looking for “the one”
○ Once you find them everything will be smooth
○ More rigid, less room for change
● Growth Beliefs – relationships strengthen through experience
○ More flexible
○ Related to more stable and satisfying relationships
● Great relationships are formed, not found
◆ Avoid these myths about relationships:
● The right person will meet all my needs
● I can change my partner
● Love will conquer all
● Sex will always be amazing
● Partners should be able to read each other’s minds
◆ Matching
● Individuals tend to select partners who are similar to themselves
● Including attractiveness
◆ Annoying Traits
● Everyone has them
● They typically get more intense over time
● Choose a partner whose annoying traits don’t bother you that much
➔ Relationship Development
◆ People pass through predictable stages as they from any kind of relationship
● Initiating – do we have a connection
