CHAPTER 5
ADULT RELATIONSHIPS
People’s lives are shaped by interpersonal relationships.
o Generally, adult interpersonal relationships are characterised by intimacy,
love, and attachment bonds.
o Their social networks change as they proceed through the life course.
INTIMACY
Intimacy: Establishing closeness with another person.
o This closeness or intimacy develops from self-disclosure.
Eg. The process by which one shares one's thoughts, feelings, and
experiences with another.
To establish true intimacy, this process must be reciprocal, which means that both
persons must contribute to the relationship, implying a process of give and take.
o Through this process, the individuals involved not only express openness to
each other but also experience deeper self-knowledge.
Emotional unresponsiveness and negative self-esteem are personality variables
that have a strong correlation with fear of intimacy in both males and females.
According to Erikson, establishing intimacy is considered one of the critical
developmental tasks marking a person's entry into adulthood.
Failure to establish and sustain a committed intimate relationship during young
adulthood not only hinders development but also has significant negative
implications for well-being across the total life span.
o Individuals first have to establish a personal identity before they can achieve
intimacy and establish a shared identity with another person, which means
that people should know themselves before they can love another.
The development of true intimacy during early adulthood is a difficult task
because the individual experiences conflict between the desire for commitment to
, someone, and the desire to remain independent, as well as to retain his or her
newly acquired personal identity.
o The result is that many young adults form relationships based on sexual
intimacy without emotional intimacy.
Known as the genital relationship.
The genial relationship can lead to total isolation.
o Eg. Research incorporating young married students of the University of the
Free State found a significantly negative relationship between intimacy and
loneliness.
Relationship status (and thus the degree of intimacy) has a significant influence
on romantic and general loneliness.
According to Erikson, intimacy occurs in any relationship in which there is an
emotional bond, such as between family members and friends.
o Intimacy implies the fusion of two identities but also means that the other
person is given the freedom to remain an individual.
Young adults who resolve this intimacy versus isolation crisis positively are
successful in developing close give-and-take relationships with others and are
graced with the virtue of love.
LOVE
Psychologists agree that love is an exceedingly complex and diverse emotion that
is characterised fundamentally by a deep affection for another person.
Love takes on many forms throughout the life span and is influenced not only by
the personalities of the persons involved, but also by factors such as developmental
stages, gender differences, and cultural-historical contexts.
Psychologists view the capacity to love and be loved as an inherently human
tendency with powerful effects on well-being from infancy through to old age.
Love has a strong biological component.
oEg. When we fall in love, our bodies produce various physiological responses
such as a racing heart, sweaty palms, flushed cheeks, loss of appetite, and
accelerating breathing.
Biological factors and love:
o Various biochemicals in the body are associated with love.
Dopamine affects the genitals and sweat glands and can cause feelings of
excitement.
, Testosterone increases sexual desire.
Oxytocin (The cuddle hormone or the love hormone) is released when
people snuggle up or bond socially and plays an important role in
maternal instincts and orgasms.
Also associated with enduring friendships and monogamy.
Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of love is a model that was created to help
understand love.
o He acknowledged the complexity of love and maintained that love does not
occur in a single form, but that it consists of 3 distinct components.
Passion.
Intimacy.
Commitment.
Passion.
Characterised by intense emotions that one feels towards another person.
Usually occurs at the beginning of a relationship and is characterised by
infatuation.
Infatuation: The state of being completely carried away by unreasoning
passion, feelings of being "in love', and when physical attraction is central.
o It creates feelings such as excitement, ecstasy, and euphoria and a
strong sense of uncertainty, anxiety, and jealousy, usually because
intimacy has not yet been established.
Passion or infatuation is often short-lived and intimacy that is more
emotional will be needed to develop further.
Intimacy.
, Intimacy: The development of reciprocal trust, openness, and acceptance
of each other.
It also implies an honest exchange of feelings, without the fear of being
rejected.
It is essential for a relationship to grow and develop, and forms the basis of
close relationships, such as the marital relationship.
Commitment.
Commitment is a conscious decision to maintain a love relationship and to
care for and support each other.
The relative presence or absence of the above-mentioned components will
develop into one of the following types of love:
Liking.
Includes intimacy.
Passion and commitment are absent.
Infatuation.
Includes passion.
Intimacy and commitment are absent.
Empty love.
Includes commitment.
Passion and intimacy are absent.
Romantic love.
Includes passion and intimacy.
Excludes commitment.
Fatuous love.
Includes passion and commitment.
Excludes intimacy.
Companionate love.
Includes intimacy and commitment.
Excludes passion.
Consummate love.
Includes passion, intimacy and commitment.
The ideal love relationship would be one in which all three components are
evident.
ADULT RELATIONSHIPS
People’s lives are shaped by interpersonal relationships.
o Generally, adult interpersonal relationships are characterised by intimacy,
love, and attachment bonds.
o Their social networks change as they proceed through the life course.
INTIMACY
Intimacy: Establishing closeness with another person.
o This closeness or intimacy develops from self-disclosure.
Eg. The process by which one shares one's thoughts, feelings, and
experiences with another.
To establish true intimacy, this process must be reciprocal, which means that both
persons must contribute to the relationship, implying a process of give and take.
o Through this process, the individuals involved not only express openness to
each other but also experience deeper self-knowledge.
Emotional unresponsiveness and negative self-esteem are personality variables
that have a strong correlation with fear of intimacy in both males and females.
According to Erikson, establishing intimacy is considered one of the critical
developmental tasks marking a person's entry into adulthood.
Failure to establish and sustain a committed intimate relationship during young
adulthood not only hinders development but also has significant negative
implications for well-being across the total life span.
o Individuals first have to establish a personal identity before they can achieve
intimacy and establish a shared identity with another person, which means
that people should know themselves before they can love another.
The development of true intimacy during early adulthood is a difficult task
because the individual experiences conflict between the desire for commitment to
, someone, and the desire to remain independent, as well as to retain his or her
newly acquired personal identity.
o The result is that many young adults form relationships based on sexual
intimacy without emotional intimacy.
Known as the genital relationship.
The genial relationship can lead to total isolation.
o Eg. Research incorporating young married students of the University of the
Free State found a significantly negative relationship between intimacy and
loneliness.
Relationship status (and thus the degree of intimacy) has a significant influence
on romantic and general loneliness.
According to Erikson, intimacy occurs in any relationship in which there is an
emotional bond, such as between family members and friends.
o Intimacy implies the fusion of two identities but also means that the other
person is given the freedom to remain an individual.
Young adults who resolve this intimacy versus isolation crisis positively are
successful in developing close give-and-take relationships with others and are
graced with the virtue of love.
LOVE
Psychologists agree that love is an exceedingly complex and diverse emotion that
is characterised fundamentally by a deep affection for another person.
Love takes on many forms throughout the life span and is influenced not only by
the personalities of the persons involved, but also by factors such as developmental
stages, gender differences, and cultural-historical contexts.
Psychologists view the capacity to love and be loved as an inherently human
tendency with powerful effects on well-being from infancy through to old age.
Love has a strong biological component.
oEg. When we fall in love, our bodies produce various physiological responses
such as a racing heart, sweaty palms, flushed cheeks, loss of appetite, and
accelerating breathing.
Biological factors and love:
o Various biochemicals in the body are associated with love.
Dopamine affects the genitals and sweat glands and can cause feelings of
excitement.
, Testosterone increases sexual desire.
Oxytocin (The cuddle hormone or the love hormone) is released when
people snuggle up or bond socially and plays an important role in
maternal instincts and orgasms.
Also associated with enduring friendships and monogamy.
Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of love is a model that was created to help
understand love.
o He acknowledged the complexity of love and maintained that love does not
occur in a single form, but that it consists of 3 distinct components.
Passion.
Intimacy.
Commitment.
Passion.
Characterised by intense emotions that one feels towards another person.
Usually occurs at the beginning of a relationship and is characterised by
infatuation.
Infatuation: The state of being completely carried away by unreasoning
passion, feelings of being "in love', and when physical attraction is central.
o It creates feelings such as excitement, ecstasy, and euphoria and a
strong sense of uncertainty, anxiety, and jealousy, usually because
intimacy has not yet been established.
Passion or infatuation is often short-lived and intimacy that is more
emotional will be needed to develop further.
Intimacy.
, Intimacy: The development of reciprocal trust, openness, and acceptance
of each other.
It also implies an honest exchange of feelings, without the fear of being
rejected.
It is essential for a relationship to grow and develop, and forms the basis of
close relationships, such as the marital relationship.
Commitment.
Commitment is a conscious decision to maintain a love relationship and to
care for and support each other.
The relative presence or absence of the above-mentioned components will
develop into one of the following types of love:
Liking.
Includes intimacy.
Passion and commitment are absent.
Infatuation.
Includes passion.
Intimacy and commitment are absent.
Empty love.
Includes commitment.
Passion and intimacy are absent.
Romantic love.
Includes passion and intimacy.
Excludes commitment.
Fatuous love.
Includes passion and commitment.
Excludes intimacy.
Companionate love.
Includes intimacy and commitment.
Excludes passion.
Consummate love.
Includes passion, intimacy and commitment.
The ideal love relationship would be one in which all three components are
evident.
