Adolescent Development
lectures
Part 2
Lecture 6: Peers: friendship and status, march 2nd 2016
Peers = people about the same age = large network of same age
classmates
Friends = people you know, like and with whom you develop a valued,
mutual relationship.
Friends are more of a subcategory of peers. When we talk about peer
pressure, we mostly mean friends’ pressure, but not only. Peer pressure
adolescents want to be more like the peers they want to be friends with.
They start to imitate them in the hope to become friends. This is an
indirect kind of peer pressure. Some people also have certain
characteristics that make them more influential in general and some
people have more influence than others (for example, when one popular
guy grows a beard, other people will grow a beard too).
Family versus friends in adolescence:
There is an increase in conflicts with parents as they fight for more
autonomy. There are quantitative and qualitative changes:
Quantitative Time spent with family decreases in adolescence and the
time spent with friends, increases, especially with other-sex friends. In
childhood, there tends to be a more same-sex orientation. In adolescence,
people start to have other sex friends.
Qualitative The main source of support and happiness shift from parents
to friends. Parents tend to be replaced by friends when talking about
certain things.
Discussion preferences depend on the topic they want to talk about:
- Friends for romantic/sex issues
- Parents for career/education
Why do friends become more important in adolescence? There is an idea
that in adolescence, it is thought that friends accept and understand them
the way they are. Parents tend to see the desired autonomy as a threat.
This desire for autonomy is not a problem for peers. The sources of
conflicts are not going to be a source of problem for peers. There is also
that feeling of being better understood by peers. They feel that they are
going through the same kind of problems. They feel that their parents
wouldn’t be able to understand what they are going through.
,However, this is a tendency. Adolescent friendships and adolescent
parents are not completely independent, they are interrelated. Parents can
influence their adolescents’ choice of friends.
Parents may influence their child’s friendships:
Parents may guide their children to certain extra-curricular activities. The
parenting styles influences their self-esteem, personality which in turn
influences their friendships.
An adolescent who is not allowed to go to parties, will not become friends
with peers who only like to party and go out every weekend. How the
adolescent feels about themselves, influences who people they hang out
with. These are examples of influences through parenting styles.
Secure attachment people who have a secure attachment with their
parents, have learned that they can trust others. They have internalized
schema’s which say that people can be trusted and that is okay to go to
others. People with secure attachments tend to have a higher self-esteem
and are more social.
There are some cultural differences:
- Shift from parents to peers is less obvious in non-Western,
collectivistic cultures
Peers become more important but parents remain the main source of
happiness and support. The increase in conflicts is less high than in
western cultures.
The increase in the relationship with peers and having close bonds with
parents could happen at the same time. They are not incompatible.
Changes in friendship quality:
When you’re 10 years old and when you’re 18 years old, you don’t have
the same kind of friendships.
Late adolescents describe 4 main types of friendships.
- Friendly (based on shared activities)
- Intimate (based on sharing feelings and affection)
- Integrated (friendly + intimate)
- Uninvolved (neither, not really great friends, superficial)
, When you get older, individuals are more likely to describe their friends as
intimate or integrated. The intimate component is much more present in
adolescence. It is more likely in late than middle or early adolescents.
Increase in the importance of intimacy:
- Higher levels of self-disclosure
- Emphasis on trust and loyalty
- Gender differences.
Goede et al, 2009.
The relationships of girls
tend to become more
intimate than friendships of
boys.
lectures
Part 2
Lecture 6: Peers: friendship and status, march 2nd 2016
Peers = people about the same age = large network of same age
classmates
Friends = people you know, like and with whom you develop a valued,
mutual relationship.
Friends are more of a subcategory of peers. When we talk about peer
pressure, we mostly mean friends’ pressure, but not only. Peer pressure
adolescents want to be more like the peers they want to be friends with.
They start to imitate them in the hope to become friends. This is an
indirect kind of peer pressure. Some people also have certain
characteristics that make them more influential in general and some
people have more influence than others (for example, when one popular
guy grows a beard, other people will grow a beard too).
Family versus friends in adolescence:
There is an increase in conflicts with parents as they fight for more
autonomy. There are quantitative and qualitative changes:
Quantitative Time spent with family decreases in adolescence and the
time spent with friends, increases, especially with other-sex friends. In
childhood, there tends to be a more same-sex orientation. In adolescence,
people start to have other sex friends.
Qualitative The main source of support and happiness shift from parents
to friends. Parents tend to be replaced by friends when talking about
certain things.
Discussion preferences depend on the topic they want to talk about:
- Friends for romantic/sex issues
- Parents for career/education
Why do friends become more important in adolescence? There is an idea
that in adolescence, it is thought that friends accept and understand them
the way they are. Parents tend to see the desired autonomy as a threat.
This desire for autonomy is not a problem for peers. The sources of
conflicts are not going to be a source of problem for peers. There is also
that feeling of being better understood by peers. They feel that they are
going through the same kind of problems. They feel that their parents
wouldn’t be able to understand what they are going through.
,However, this is a tendency. Adolescent friendships and adolescent
parents are not completely independent, they are interrelated. Parents can
influence their adolescents’ choice of friends.
Parents may influence their child’s friendships:
Parents may guide their children to certain extra-curricular activities. The
parenting styles influences their self-esteem, personality which in turn
influences their friendships.
An adolescent who is not allowed to go to parties, will not become friends
with peers who only like to party and go out every weekend. How the
adolescent feels about themselves, influences who people they hang out
with. These are examples of influences through parenting styles.
Secure attachment people who have a secure attachment with their
parents, have learned that they can trust others. They have internalized
schema’s which say that people can be trusted and that is okay to go to
others. People with secure attachments tend to have a higher self-esteem
and are more social.
There are some cultural differences:
- Shift from parents to peers is less obvious in non-Western,
collectivistic cultures
Peers become more important but parents remain the main source of
happiness and support. The increase in conflicts is less high than in
western cultures.
The increase in the relationship with peers and having close bonds with
parents could happen at the same time. They are not incompatible.
Changes in friendship quality:
When you’re 10 years old and when you’re 18 years old, you don’t have
the same kind of friendships.
Late adolescents describe 4 main types of friendships.
- Friendly (based on shared activities)
- Intimate (based on sharing feelings and affection)
- Integrated (friendly + intimate)
- Uninvolved (neither, not really great friends, superficial)
, When you get older, individuals are more likely to describe their friends as
intimate or integrated. The intimate component is much more present in
adolescence. It is more likely in late than middle or early adolescents.
Increase in the importance of intimacy:
- Higher levels of self-disclosure
- Emphasis on trust and loyalty
- Gender differences.
Goede et al, 2009.
The relationships of girls
tend to become more
intimate than friendships of
boys.
