Psychology of sexuality
At age 25, 81% of Dutch people has had sexual experience. Of those 90% of women and 94% of men
say they enjoy sex.
What is sex?
Allosexuality: non-asexual people (most)
Not having sex:
Asexuality: no arousal/no desire for partnered sex. Some do have romantic relationships.
Grey sexuality: between asexuality and allosexuality; people who sometimes experience arousal, but
not always/not often/not intentionally.
Voluntary celibacy: having sexual attraction but do not act on it.
- How long do you have to not have sex to be celibate?
- Nuns/priests: religion
- Waiting for marriage: morals
Involuntary celibacy: do have a need for sex but unable to have it
- Separation: perhaps partner that is away for work/ divorced/ diseased
- Institutional: Chronic illness living in hospital/ nursing homes
- Restrained: Disability/ paralysed
- Lack of social skills/ low self-esteem etc.
- Incels: members of online subculture (white heterosexual males) who define themselves as
unable to find a sexual partner, but do feel entitled to sex (feel denied)
growing terror threat to women and can lead to terrorist acts.
Solitary sexual behaviors
Sexual fantasies: any mental picture that comes to mind when you’re awake that turns you on
- Can be central to desire/arousal
- Most frequent: multi-partner sex, BDSM, novelty/adventure/variety (different
setting/position)
Masturbation
- No research that says abstaining from masturbation increases mental focus/ ability to enjoy
life etc.
- Most research shows that it’s healthy
- People that are aroused take more risks than people that are not aroused.
,Partnered sexual behaviors.
Sex is only sex if all partners consent. If there is no consent, we call it sexual assault/ sexual abuse/
rape. In the Netherlands, below 16 there cannot be consent. Or under influence.
Kissing
- Not universal. Only accepted in half of all cultures.
- Not unique to humans
- Maybe evolutionary beneficial but not certain where it comes from.
Touching
Manual sex
- Stimulating with hands/body
- Tribadism and scissoring: rubbing genitals against each other (most of time vulva to vulva)
Oral sex
- Fellatio: oral stimulation of penis
- Cunnilingus: oral stimulation of vulva
Anal sex
- Becoming more popular in western world
- Anilingus: oral stimulation of anus
- Health risks
Vaginal intercourse (coitus)
- Most frequent form of sex
- CAT position (missionary but grinding) (best for clitoral stimulation)
- Reaching organism in coitus
Orgasm gasp
- Less than 20% of all heterosexual couples mostly yes/often reach organism simultaneously
, Coital imperative: the notion that ‘real’ sex equals penetration of the vagina by the penis (coitus) and
placing this particular sexual act as central to ‘normal’ hetero sex
- Puts pressure on men
- Doesn’t give women that much pleasure
Homosexual men and women have a wider range of sexual behavior because they see more actions
as sex
Everyone defines sex as something else. Important to make sure the person you talk to, understands
what you’re talking about.
What is sex?
Sex is more than just the coitus
- Sex is all behaviour that arouses us
- (touch, hearing, vision, smell)
- Mostly focussed on genitals
- Often leads to orgasm
- Sex is only sex if all partners consent
Not sure why the onset age rises.
Why do humans have sex?
Biologists say the goal of sex is mixing of genes and survival of species (result not motivation)
- Procreation: sex for reproduction (aimed at passing on genes)
- Recreation: sex for pleasure (sex is any behavior focused on satisfying sexual desire)
- Relation: sex to confirm an intimate relationship (sex is any behavior with partner focused on
creating/strengthening an emotional bond)
237 reasons
1. Physical (recreation)
- Want to experience physical pleasure, the person was attractive, curious about sexuality
2. Goal attainment
- Want to get raise/job, burn calories, to have a child (procreation)
3. Emotional (relation)
- Want to increase emotional bond, show affection, say sorry/thank you/goodbye
4. Insecurity
- Want to raise self-esteem, don’t know how to say no, felt obligated
At age 25, 81% of Dutch people has had sexual experience. Of those 90% of women and 94% of men
say they enjoy sex.
What is sex?
Allosexuality: non-asexual people (most)
Not having sex:
Asexuality: no arousal/no desire for partnered sex. Some do have romantic relationships.
Grey sexuality: between asexuality and allosexuality; people who sometimes experience arousal, but
not always/not often/not intentionally.
Voluntary celibacy: having sexual attraction but do not act on it.
- How long do you have to not have sex to be celibate?
- Nuns/priests: religion
- Waiting for marriage: morals
Involuntary celibacy: do have a need for sex but unable to have it
- Separation: perhaps partner that is away for work/ divorced/ diseased
- Institutional: Chronic illness living in hospital/ nursing homes
- Restrained: Disability/ paralysed
- Lack of social skills/ low self-esteem etc.
- Incels: members of online subculture (white heterosexual males) who define themselves as
unable to find a sexual partner, but do feel entitled to sex (feel denied)
growing terror threat to women and can lead to terrorist acts.
Solitary sexual behaviors
Sexual fantasies: any mental picture that comes to mind when you’re awake that turns you on
- Can be central to desire/arousal
- Most frequent: multi-partner sex, BDSM, novelty/adventure/variety (different
setting/position)
Masturbation
- No research that says abstaining from masturbation increases mental focus/ ability to enjoy
life etc.
- Most research shows that it’s healthy
- People that are aroused take more risks than people that are not aroused.
,Partnered sexual behaviors.
Sex is only sex if all partners consent. If there is no consent, we call it sexual assault/ sexual abuse/
rape. In the Netherlands, below 16 there cannot be consent. Or under influence.
Kissing
- Not universal. Only accepted in half of all cultures.
- Not unique to humans
- Maybe evolutionary beneficial but not certain where it comes from.
Touching
Manual sex
- Stimulating with hands/body
- Tribadism and scissoring: rubbing genitals against each other (most of time vulva to vulva)
Oral sex
- Fellatio: oral stimulation of penis
- Cunnilingus: oral stimulation of vulva
Anal sex
- Becoming more popular in western world
- Anilingus: oral stimulation of anus
- Health risks
Vaginal intercourse (coitus)
- Most frequent form of sex
- CAT position (missionary but grinding) (best for clitoral stimulation)
- Reaching organism in coitus
Orgasm gasp
- Less than 20% of all heterosexual couples mostly yes/often reach organism simultaneously
, Coital imperative: the notion that ‘real’ sex equals penetration of the vagina by the penis (coitus) and
placing this particular sexual act as central to ‘normal’ hetero sex
- Puts pressure on men
- Doesn’t give women that much pleasure
Homosexual men and women have a wider range of sexual behavior because they see more actions
as sex
Everyone defines sex as something else. Important to make sure the person you talk to, understands
what you’re talking about.
What is sex?
Sex is more than just the coitus
- Sex is all behaviour that arouses us
- (touch, hearing, vision, smell)
- Mostly focussed on genitals
- Often leads to orgasm
- Sex is only sex if all partners consent
Not sure why the onset age rises.
Why do humans have sex?
Biologists say the goal of sex is mixing of genes and survival of species (result not motivation)
- Procreation: sex for reproduction (aimed at passing on genes)
- Recreation: sex for pleasure (sex is any behavior focused on satisfying sexual desire)
- Relation: sex to confirm an intimate relationship (sex is any behavior with partner focused on
creating/strengthening an emotional bond)
237 reasons
1. Physical (recreation)
- Want to experience physical pleasure, the person was attractive, curious about sexuality
2. Goal attainment
- Want to get raise/job, burn calories, to have a child (procreation)
3. Emotional (relation)
- Want to increase emotional bond, show affection, say sorry/thank you/goodbye
4. Insecurity
- Want to raise self-esteem, don’t know how to say no, felt obligated
