BASIC COMMUNICATION SKILLS – Chapter 1, 2, 3
Sender: person who sends out a message. Receiver: person who receives the message
Regulating sender skills: those with which one influences the structure and direction of the
conversation. Assertive sender skills: those whose purpose is to reveal as clearly as possible what one
thinks and wants.
1. Regulating skills
When opening a conversation, clarity of one’s intentions promotes the smooth progression of the
conversation. A clear conversational structure, upon which the conversational partners have agreed
at the beginning, promotes efficiency.
Conversations are based on a goal, often the solving of problems. If both the sender and the receiver
agree that the goal has been reached, the conversation can be rounded off. At the end, it is often
useful to summarize the arrangements.
Make a clear agreement about the length of the conversation by making the time available known at
the beginning. When closing the conversation, a summary can be introduced. Here one can discuss
how one will continue.
2. Listening skills
‘Non’-selective listening skills: open conversation, give attention and enough time to explain.
• Nonverbal behaviour: (1) Facial expressions, (2) eye contact, (3) body posture,
(4) encouraging gestures
• Verbal following: the comments one makes should be in line with what the speaker is saying,
do not start new subjects.
o Minimal encourages: short verbal reactions intended to stimulate the speaker to talk
by showing that one listens (‘uh-huh’, ‘yes’, ‘and then?’).
Selective listening skills: to find out and select certain important aspects of the conversation
• Asking questions: (1) open-ended questions, (2) ‘why’ questions – don’t start a conversation
with a ‘why’ question, (3) closed questions – the answer usually is ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
• Paraphrasing: briefly stating in one’s own words what the speaker has said.
• Reflection of emotions: mirroring feelings of the speaker to show that one understands those
feelings or to check whether one has estimated the feelings of the speaker correctly.
• Concreteness: let speakers tell their story as concrete and precisely as possible. Ask
questions, listen and encourage the speaker to get more details.
• Summarizing: (1) summarizing contents, (2) summarizing emotions.
3. Sender skills
Initiative sender skills
• Giving information, there are four important factors: (1) Structure: the clarity and orderliness
of an amount of information; (2) Simplicity of style: short sentences, known words, etc.;
(3) Conciseness: a certain restriction in the amount of information given; and
(4) Attractiveness – enliven the content of the conversation or strengthen the relationship
between the speaker and listener.
• Making requests and giving instructions is difficult when there is: (1) lack of courage, (2)
negative expectations, or (3) lack of skill. Expressing one’s request can be done in three ways:
o Subassertive: passive, not assertive enough.
Sender: person who sends out a message. Receiver: person who receives the message
Regulating sender skills: those with which one influences the structure and direction of the
conversation. Assertive sender skills: those whose purpose is to reveal as clearly as possible what one
thinks and wants.
1. Regulating skills
When opening a conversation, clarity of one’s intentions promotes the smooth progression of the
conversation. A clear conversational structure, upon which the conversational partners have agreed
at the beginning, promotes efficiency.
Conversations are based on a goal, often the solving of problems. If both the sender and the receiver
agree that the goal has been reached, the conversation can be rounded off. At the end, it is often
useful to summarize the arrangements.
Make a clear agreement about the length of the conversation by making the time available known at
the beginning. When closing the conversation, a summary can be introduced. Here one can discuss
how one will continue.
2. Listening skills
‘Non’-selective listening skills: open conversation, give attention and enough time to explain.
• Nonverbal behaviour: (1) Facial expressions, (2) eye contact, (3) body posture,
(4) encouraging gestures
• Verbal following: the comments one makes should be in line with what the speaker is saying,
do not start new subjects.
o Minimal encourages: short verbal reactions intended to stimulate the speaker to talk
by showing that one listens (‘uh-huh’, ‘yes’, ‘and then?’).
Selective listening skills: to find out and select certain important aspects of the conversation
• Asking questions: (1) open-ended questions, (2) ‘why’ questions – don’t start a conversation
with a ‘why’ question, (3) closed questions – the answer usually is ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
• Paraphrasing: briefly stating in one’s own words what the speaker has said.
• Reflection of emotions: mirroring feelings of the speaker to show that one understands those
feelings or to check whether one has estimated the feelings of the speaker correctly.
• Concreteness: let speakers tell their story as concrete and precisely as possible. Ask
questions, listen and encourage the speaker to get more details.
• Summarizing: (1) summarizing contents, (2) summarizing emotions.
3. Sender skills
Initiative sender skills
• Giving information, there are four important factors: (1) Structure: the clarity and orderliness
of an amount of information; (2) Simplicity of style: short sentences, known words, etc.;
(3) Conciseness: a certain restriction in the amount of information given; and
(4) Attractiveness – enliven the content of the conversation or strengthen the relationship
between the speaker and listener.
• Making requests and giving instructions is difficult when there is: (1) lack of courage, (2)
negative expectations, or (3) lack of skill. Expressing one’s request can be done in three ways:
o Subassertive: passive, not assertive enough.
