Virtual Relationships in Social Media
Social networking sites have thrived in recent years. Sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram offer a
way for online users to interact with each other and to make and maintain interpersonal relationships.
Research has shown that there are differences in the way that people conduct these virtual relationships
and how they conduct face-to-face relationships.
In this section, we look at two of these differences: the higher levels of self-disclosure typically found in
virtual relationships and the removal of the gates that would, for some people, make offline relationship
formation more difficult.
Self-disclosure in virtual relationships
Self-disclosure involves the revealing of personal information about oneself to another individual.
Psychologists are interested in determining whether this differs between virtual relationships and face-to-
face relationships.
The anonymity of virtual relationships means that individuals can reveal intimate personal information
with less fear of being socially embarrassed by such information being leaked to people who know them.
This is similar to Rubin’s ‘strangers on a train’ phenomenon, where individuals reveal more personal
information to a stranger as they do not have access to the individual’s social circle. Unlike strangers who
only meet once, virtual relationships allow for continued interactions, meaning that a relationship can be
built.
Because of the greater ease of self-disclosure in virtual relationships, closeness and intimacy develop
more quickly than with face-to-face relationships and are based on more meaningful factors, such as
shared attitudes and interests, rather than more superficial factors found with face-to-face relationships,
like physical attractiveness.
Also, because of the anonymity of virtual relationships, self-disclosure tends to be about one’s ‘true’ self
rather than a publicly presented ‘false’ self and such real intimacies help to build a stronger, more
meaningful relationship.
As virtual relationships have a tendency, through intimate self-disclosure, to be stronger and more
meaningful, this means they also have the potential to be long-lasting, unlike more superficial face-to-face
relationships.
Self-disclosure creates high levels of affection that are sustained if people in virtual relationships actually
meet. This occurs due to a lack of physical information, which can help form initial impressions of individuals
who are resistant to change. As deep, virtual relationships form without physical information, such
information will not be that influential when people meet.
A recent phenomenon of self-disclosure in virtual relationships is sexting, the sending of sexually explicit
photos/videos. This occurs as probably people feel less inhibited in their behaviour in social media than in
real life, but there are dangers, such as being blackmailed or coerced into such behaviour against one’s will.
Self-disclosure in virtual relationships also carries a danger of dishonest individuals misrepresenting
themselves in order to appear favourable so that they can successfully exploit people, for example for
financial gain or sexual purposes.
, Opposing theories: Reduced cues theory vs Hyper-personal model
Reduced cues theory Hyper-personal model
(less self-disclosure online) (more self-disclosure online)
According to Sproull and Kiesler (1986), Walther (1996) argued that virtual
computer-mediated communication (CMC) relationships can be more personal and
relationships are less effective than face-to- involve greater self-disclosure than face-to-
face ones because they lack many of the cues face ones. This is because virtual
we normally depend on in face-to-face relationships can develop very quickly as
interactions. These include non-verbal cues self-disclosure happens earlier, and once
such as our physical appearance. established they are more intense and
intimate.
Computer mediated communication
particularly lacks cues to our emotional There are 2 key features of hyper-personal
state, such as our facial expressions and tone self-disclosure in virtual relationships:
of voice. This leads to de-individuation 1. The sender of the message has greater
because it reduces people’s sense of control over what to disclose and the
individual identity, which in turn encourages cues they send than they would in a
disinhibition in relating to others. face-to-face situation. This is selective
self-presentation. The sender
Virtual relationships are therefore more likely manipulates their self-image to
to involve blunt and even aggressive present themselves in an idealised
communication. The upshot of this process is way. To achieve this, self-disclosures
a reluctance to self-disclose. You are can be both intensely truthful (hyper
unlikely to want to initiate a relationship honest) and/or intensely false (hyper
with someone who is so impersonal, or dishonest).
reveal your innermost feelings to them.
2. If the receiver gains a positive
impression of the sender, they may
give feedback (e.g. respond to a post)
that reinforces the sender’s selective
self-presentation
Another factor that promotes online self-
disclosure and makes virtual relationships
hyper-personal is anonymity.
John Bargh et al. (2002) point out that the
outcome of this is like the strangers on a
train effect in face-to-face relationships.
When you’re aware that other people do not
know your identity, you feel less accountable
for your behaviour. So, you may well disclose
more about yourself to a stranger than to even
your most-intimate partner.
Social networking sites have thrived in recent years. Sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram offer a
way for online users to interact with each other and to make and maintain interpersonal relationships.
Research has shown that there are differences in the way that people conduct these virtual relationships
and how they conduct face-to-face relationships.
In this section, we look at two of these differences: the higher levels of self-disclosure typically found in
virtual relationships and the removal of the gates that would, for some people, make offline relationship
formation more difficult.
Self-disclosure in virtual relationships
Self-disclosure involves the revealing of personal information about oneself to another individual.
Psychologists are interested in determining whether this differs between virtual relationships and face-to-
face relationships.
The anonymity of virtual relationships means that individuals can reveal intimate personal information
with less fear of being socially embarrassed by such information being leaked to people who know them.
This is similar to Rubin’s ‘strangers on a train’ phenomenon, where individuals reveal more personal
information to a stranger as they do not have access to the individual’s social circle. Unlike strangers who
only meet once, virtual relationships allow for continued interactions, meaning that a relationship can be
built.
Because of the greater ease of self-disclosure in virtual relationships, closeness and intimacy develop
more quickly than with face-to-face relationships and are based on more meaningful factors, such as
shared attitudes and interests, rather than more superficial factors found with face-to-face relationships,
like physical attractiveness.
Also, because of the anonymity of virtual relationships, self-disclosure tends to be about one’s ‘true’ self
rather than a publicly presented ‘false’ self and such real intimacies help to build a stronger, more
meaningful relationship.
As virtual relationships have a tendency, through intimate self-disclosure, to be stronger and more
meaningful, this means they also have the potential to be long-lasting, unlike more superficial face-to-face
relationships.
Self-disclosure creates high levels of affection that are sustained if people in virtual relationships actually
meet. This occurs due to a lack of physical information, which can help form initial impressions of individuals
who are resistant to change. As deep, virtual relationships form without physical information, such
information will not be that influential when people meet.
A recent phenomenon of self-disclosure in virtual relationships is sexting, the sending of sexually explicit
photos/videos. This occurs as probably people feel less inhibited in their behaviour in social media than in
real life, but there are dangers, such as being blackmailed or coerced into such behaviour against one’s will.
Self-disclosure in virtual relationships also carries a danger of dishonest individuals misrepresenting
themselves in order to appear favourable so that they can successfully exploit people, for example for
financial gain or sexual purposes.
, Opposing theories: Reduced cues theory vs Hyper-personal model
Reduced cues theory Hyper-personal model
(less self-disclosure online) (more self-disclosure online)
According to Sproull and Kiesler (1986), Walther (1996) argued that virtual
computer-mediated communication (CMC) relationships can be more personal and
relationships are less effective than face-to- involve greater self-disclosure than face-to-
face ones because they lack many of the cues face ones. This is because virtual
we normally depend on in face-to-face relationships can develop very quickly as
interactions. These include non-verbal cues self-disclosure happens earlier, and once
such as our physical appearance. established they are more intense and
intimate.
Computer mediated communication
particularly lacks cues to our emotional There are 2 key features of hyper-personal
state, such as our facial expressions and tone self-disclosure in virtual relationships:
of voice. This leads to de-individuation 1. The sender of the message has greater
because it reduces people’s sense of control over what to disclose and the
individual identity, which in turn encourages cues they send than they would in a
disinhibition in relating to others. face-to-face situation. This is selective
self-presentation. The sender
Virtual relationships are therefore more likely manipulates their self-image to
to involve blunt and even aggressive present themselves in an idealised
communication. The upshot of this process is way. To achieve this, self-disclosures
a reluctance to self-disclose. You are can be both intensely truthful (hyper
unlikely to want to initiate a relationship honest) and/or intensely false (hyper
with someone who is so impersonal, or dishonest).
reveal your innermost feelings to them.
2. If the receiver gains a positive
impression of the sender, they may
give feedback (e.g. respond to a post)
that reinforces the sender’s selective
self-presentation
Another factor that promotes online self-
disclosure and makes virtual relationships
hyper-personal is anonymity.
John Bargh et al. (2002) point out that the
outcome of this is like the strangers on a
train effect in face-to-face relationships.
When you’re aware that other people do not
know your identity, you feel less accountable
for your behaviour. So, you may well disclose
more about yourself to a stranger than to even
your most-intimate partner.
