Communications Notes:
Verbal Communication:
Language is a system of words represented by symbols.
Words are symbols that convey meaning and characterize ideas, people, places or concepts.
We use verbal communication to express emotions.
Words are arbitrary (Humans decide and it sticks)
Words are abstract (We give it meaning)
Symbols are intentional (We create meaning to make it simple)
Symbols are uniquely human
Symbols are culturally bound
Symbols are contextually bound
I-Language can maximize success of verbal communication (I feel statements)
Thought
Triangle of Meaning: Symbol Referent
Five types of conflict management:
Competition: Win or lose
Collaborating: Win and Win
Avoiding: Lose and Lose
Accommodating: Lose and win
Compromising: Both win and lose a little
Competing:
Assertive and uncooperative
Pursues his or her own concerns at the other person's expense. Power oriented mode where
one uses whatever power seems appropriate to win.
, Accommodating:
When you give something up for someone else to win
When to use:
When you discover you were wrong, continued competition would be detrimental, preserving
harmony is best at the current moment.
Avoiding
Unassertive and cooperative
Does not pursue their own concerns or those of the other person, does not address the
competition
When to use:
See no chance of your concerns being met, when you would have to deal with an angry hot-
headed person, when your totally unprepared or taken by surprise or you need time to think and
collect information, when you are too emotionally involved
Collaborating
Assertive and cooperative, opposite of avoiding
When to use:
when others' lives are involved, when you don't want full responsibility, high levels of trust, want
to gain commitment of others, when you need to work through hard feelings
Compromising
Find some solution which partially satisfies both parties
When to use:
People of equal status are equally committed, to reach temporary settlement, to reach fast
solutions on important issues
DESC Script:
Describe the behavior/situation
Express your feelings and thoughts about the situation/behavior, I statements
Specify what behavior/outcome you would prefer to happen
Consequences (positive and negative) are specified
Verbal Communication:
Language is a system of words represented by symbols.
Words are symbols that convey meaning and characterize ideas, people, places or concepts.
We use verbal communication to express emotions.
Words are arbitrary (Humans decide and it sticks)
Words are abstract (We give it meaning)
Symbols are intentional (We create meaning to make it simple)
Symbols are uniquely human
Symbols are culturally bound
Symbols are contextually bound
I-Language can maximize success of verbal communication (I feel statements)
Thought
Triangle of Meaning: Symbol Referent
Five types of conflict management:
Competition: Win or lose
Collaborating: Win and Win
Avoiding: Lose and Lose
Accommodating: Lose and win
Compromising: Both win and lose a little
Competing:
Assertive and uncooperative
Pursues his or her own concerns at the other person's expense. Power oriented mode where
one uses whatever power seems appropriate to win.
, Accommodating:
When you give something up for someone else to win
When to use:
When you discover you were wrong, continued competition would be detrimental, preserving
harmony is best at the current moment.
Avoiding
Unassertive and cooperative
Does not pursue their own concerns or those of the other person, does not address the
competition
When to use:
See no chance of your concerns being met, when you would have to deal with an angry hot-
headed person, when your totally unprepared or taken by surprise or you need time to think and
collect information, when you are too emotionally involved
Collaborating
Assertive and cooperative, opposite of avoiding
When to use:
when others' lives are involved, when you don't want full responsibility, high levels of trust, want
to gain commitment of others, when you need to work through hard feelings
Compromising
Find some solution which partially satisfies both parties
When to use:
People of equal status are equally committed, to reach temporary settlement, to reach fast
solutions on important issues
DESC Script:
Describe the behavior/situation
Express your feelings and thoughts about the situation/behavior, I statements
Specify what behavior/outcome you would prefer to happen
Consequences (positive and negative) are specified
