I feel the stone respond When I look up , the backlit chockstone falling
/
As I dangle 1
I ] grimace and growl
. . .
'
* Mathethetical language """ and sense of toward my head consumes the sky
made when
Alliteration : animalistic language , imitates the sound
1
•" +" " ' Pense a
he
.
foot higher;
'
maybe eleven or twelve feet high , a
vulnerability suggests being 1
sentence : slows down pale tin shock) 1
complex
- "
→
feet 1 in
pain
.
feet downstream ; three feet across ; fifty suspended precariously is about
readers
→
ten ,
down ; a few feet out
from the lip ; nine foot -
gets a sense that disaster -10
,
'
I can
'
vs
'
I can 't
'
1 ..
.
in a naive attempt . . .
contrast losing control iunfidlnt
→ fear
diction in denial of his misfortune
↳ careful , analytical ,
conscious, experienced , I happen
,
• :
I
-
:
personification unexpected : →
tension
frantic, and I out
confident, give reader clear understanding * Time markers / temporal language cry
-
1 I'm
' a . . .
1 I of their
assured and relaxed scraping quake three second , at a tenth
onomatopoeia
-
surrounding The next
..
. . .
of his
.
Descriptive language ; auditory + tactile imagery
'
,
decelerate ; In slow
normal speed ; my reactions
.
1 1
.
engages readers my desperate brain
conjures up
→
,
. .
halls
.
the
W_edged between Instantly , ] know this is trouble
' motion
distorted/
.
of time
. . .
panic description Metaphor
Alliteration : speed up pails capture the attention .adµ turning point
his own
represents
-
I ↳ .
1
•
of readers by experience of accident
.
alliteration : sense of abruptness I
1 .
magical description →
desperateoverturned car to free her baby
( careful , technical description ) * " "' " 9
adrenaline stoked mom lifts an
* Expert terminology
-
realise he's in 1 an
/ declarative sentence : make us
back as the rock
..
Time dilates : I yank my left
.
arm
of a different geometry i refrigerator chock stone ; y
-
danger sheer force to free his hand
crushes tearing
colloquial language hoping to
i.
: use
1 ricochets ; : ensnares ; .
drop-off i this technique
.
the is known as
ledge ; and instinctively the pace of to create sense
speed writing a
1
.
with brute force
. .
1 ↳
up myself
.. .
chimney.mg or stemming adverb : lost analytical self to panic and , free .
. . .
•
intensity
.
his rith of
readers about climbing with survival instincts take over → lost ✗ rational , ✗ analytical
↳ informing confident , knowledgeable arrogant / uutwl
,
Then silence
I. animalistic language survival : instincts,
knowledge
, .
→
the incident
relaxed and assured by him 1 minor sentence speed up pace , how I. thrust repeatedly upwards
:
are in
readers * Alliteration
•
.
. -
→
it began
things stops just quickly as
everything to set
as
know are ricochets
But dramatic irony pound way , nut ✗ analytical , lost his
we ,
I frantic , sanity tiles
about to get wrong
→ creates tension 1 → create swioothnetl sense of
urgency + treacherous
,
'
* Passive role
-
,
rock smashes
'
my disbelief pare temporarily Anxiety has 1 himself free
drop off
me
of the
-
. . . . . .
-
- -
- - - -
tip violent verb, onomatopoeia
-
hands
- - -
at the
- . -
. . -
- .
-
over
-
Fear shoots
.
-
tweaking my
1 brain
.
,
. .
my panic
.
flying agony throws me into a
.
Visual The
personification detailed alleunti 9M 1
'n' "
head
.
:
•
. . .
consumes the sky .
, my .
predators consume : chockstone
=
short sentence , passive role , direct personification ; voice :X in control, frantic
...sfemmybodyacr0sF 1.
Diction :
he is prey , highlights
,
-
is only reacting , frantic sudden
,
I .
passive
predators ,
lost control , he
of pain, emphasizes the flame the writer endures
,
.
siblqnle : show how deftly he can slither thepower the chockstone has 1
movement , driven by fear and not by rational
-
metaphor : flame
1 over the helpless
writer and
through →
agile + confident 1
decisions , he is not the subject * internal monologue
foreshadow , writer 's failed attempt,
1 contrasts with earlier energetic activity
tmall.ie/dofbodypoT \ at trying to break free
and
.
Diction :
✗ Good God , my hand
boulder then crushes my right hand I
.
foot and hand i took MY left The
emotive language religious language : mild expletive, extreme emotion
with
- - - - -
- -
one
-
one
- - - -
f.
-
ensnares my right arm
.. - - - -
- - ,
,
and desperation , in shock
.
pushes my foot tight ! With MY right 1 personification showing entrapment hopelessness 1 out of there! '
your hand
knee ; :
sight of my
stare at the
,
vanished , i get
. . .
arm
at the wrist , palm in , thumb up , fingers
't
'
from my fully
foot ;sliding my belly over: i . .
-
1 seems like magic conjuration → unreal-1 desperation + panic
.. .
! >
-
extended arms extended lost his mind
.
I '
Asunder the listing speeds up :pace + gruesome
:
image ,
already ! come on move !
'
swift and controlled movement,
. . . .
↳vivid image of his descriptive everything slows down structure
exclamatory desperation panic
y
- - - - - - -
sentence →
-
I'm dreaming I ,
-
l as if . . .
1 simile : trance-like state language ,
another drop off
.
I come to I * Active voice
language
-
Losing control
.
sentence detached tone, attract audience
'
2.
simple : "
three times
yank my
-
I arm .
1- structure language I -
confident
-
l -
-
-
-
- I. .
1 .
.
desperation
the large boulder, heaving against it, pushing with my left
-
.
-
-
.. .
my hands feet , and back
,
.
" 3. Panicked I shove against
din suggests experience agility , create hand , lifting with my lines pressed under
the rock
- :
Rule of three ; showcases 1 .
. * tonal shift
HUG StruttUH ↳ creates a false sense of hope for the readers as the writer seems to be
visual -
maybe imagery
this one is . . ..
imagine using it to climb up the 127 :
the initiative to save himself
and
d-emonstratirepronoun-iengages.us
can
you l -
escape
taking
. . -
-
"
inside of a chimney A
BETWEEN
.
I descended ten minutes ago
µµ
I shock-1 lack of hope)
+ direct address *short sentences (→
.
domestic
. .
imagery
.
:
fast he is idiom , foreshadowing
: puts in perspective how
-
AND A
-
• time phrase &
& this predicament where
I'm Hulk
progressing helps readers to actually any decision he makes will
1 But
attempts
.
in;D + relatable difficult
futile
µµ⑥µf
sudden hit of realization ( all his
be a on
were
imagine situation more represents panic,
I " " " " " "n
it's possible for me .
1
.. .
with '
vividly by comparing
. . .
,
positive language : creates an assured tone →
i →
hopelessness)
chimney
-
he is an experienced and Just below the ledge where I'm standing is a
tension 1
1 Nothing .
" "" Mt ""Mbtt sentence incomplete short sentence
1. long descriptive
→ ,
chock stone the size of a large bus tire , stuck out of control , panicked , more
reaction
Monosyllable stark and hopeless leaves writer uncertain of what will
,
:
calm , controlled
confident →
I -
the wall a few feet ,
, ,
channel between
-
* active voice contrast with passive tenet fast in the ,
time marker 1st person narrative present
+ tense
happen next
I
-1 .
I traverse out I I press it from the lip ,
panic
All his actions were futile in attempt
represent
hopelessness
; his
I can move up own
. - .
. . . . . . -
→
his incident , immersed
myself : I squat Asyndetil listing -1 visual imagery I
1
.
kick at the boulder I 7 lower
:
experience
and hopeless
uncertain conclusion as Ralston appears isolated
-
.
I . . .
and grip ; I can lower myself .. . ; analytical , confident, controlled 1
•
/
. . .
↳ controlled , confident, everything is happening If I can step onto it, . . .
1 right now
because he chooses it
to
happen → assured Tdependantane controlled , analytical :
, I. italics : frantic thinking Nicole Li
- -
- - - -
- -
- -
/
As I dangle 1
I ] grimace and growl
. . .
'
* Mathethetical language """ and sense of toward my head consumes the sky
made when
Alliteration : animalistic language , imitates the sound
1
•" +" " ' Pense a
he
.
foot higher;
'
maybe eleven or twelve feet high , a
vulnerability suggests being 1
sentence : slows down pale tin shock) 1
complex
- "
→
feet 1 in
pain
.
feet downstream ; three feet across ; fifty suspended precariously is about
readers
→
ten ,
down ; a few feet out
from the lip ; nine foot -
gets a sense that disaster -10
,
'
I can
'
vs
'
I can 't
'
1 ..
.
in a naive attempt . . .
contrast losing control iunfidlnt
→ fear
diction in denial of his misfortune
↳ careful , analytical ,
conscious, experienced , I happen
,
• :
I
-
:
personification unexpected : →
tension
frantic, and I out
confident, give reader clear understanding * Time markers / temporal language cry
-
1 I'm
' a . . .
1 I of their
assured and relaxed scraping quake three second , at a tenth
onomatopoeia
-
surrounding The next
..
. . .
of his
.
Descriptive language ; auditory + tactile imagery
'
,
decelerate ; In slow
normal speed ; my reactions
.
1 1
.
engages readers my desperate brain
conjures up
→
,
. .
halls
.
the
W_edged between Instantly , ] know this is trouble
' motion
distorted/
.
of time
. . .
panic description Metaphor
Alliteration : speed up pails capture the attention .adµ turning point
his own
represents
-
I ↳ .
1
•
of readers by experience of accident
.
alliteration : sense of abruptness I
1 .
magical description →
desperateoverturned car to free her baby
( careful , technical description ) * " "' " 9
adrenaline stoked mom lifts an
* Expert terminology
-
realise he's in 1 an
/ declarative sentence : make us
back as the rock
..
Time dilates : I yank my left
.
arm
of a different geometry i refrigerator chock stone ; y
-
danger sheer force to free his hand
crushes tearing
colloquial language hoping to
i.
: use
1 ricochets ; : ensnares ; .
drop-off i this technique
.
the is known as
ledge ; and instinctively the pace of to create sense
speed writing a
1
.
with brute force
. .
1 ↳
up myself
.. .
chimney.mg or stemming adverb : lost analytical self to panic and , free .
. . .
•
intensity
.
his rith of
readers about climbing with survival instincts take over → lost ✗ rational , ✗ analytical
↳ informing confident , knowledgeable arrogant / uutwl
,
Then silence
I. animalistic language survival : instincts,
knowledge
, .
→
the incident
relaxed and assured by him 1 minor sentence speed up pace , how I. thrust repeatedly upwards
:
are in
readers * Alliteration
•
.
. -
→
it began
things stops just quickly as
everything to set
as
know are ricochets
But dramatic irony pound way , nut ✗ analytical , lost his
we ,
I frantic , sanity tiles
about to get wrong
→ creates tension 1 → create swioothnetl sense of
urgency + treacherous
,
'
* Passive role
-
,
rock smashes
'
my disbelief pare temporarily Anxiety has 1 himself free
drop off
me
of the
-
. . . . . .
-
- -
- - - -
tip violent verb, onomatopoeia
-
hands
- - -
at the
- . -
. . -
- .
-
over
-
Fear shoots
.
-
tweaking my
1 brain
.
,
. .
my panic
.
flying agony throws me into a
.
Visual The
personification detailed alleunti 9M 1
'n' "
head
.
:
•
. . .
consumes the sky .
, my .
predators consume : chockstone
=
short sentence , passive role , direct personification ; voice :X in control, frantic
...sfemmybodyacr0sF 1.
Diction :
he is prey , highlights
,
-
is only reacting , frantic sudden
,
I .
passive
predators ,
lost control , he
of pain, emphasizes the flame the writer endures
,
.
siblqnle : show how deftly he can slither thepower the chockstone has 1
movement , driven by fear and not by rational
-
metaphor : flame
1 over the helpless
writer and
through →
agile + confident 1
decisions , he is not the subject * internal monologue
foreshadow , writer 's failed attempt,
1 contrasts with earlier energetic activity
tmall.ie/dofbodypoT \ at trying to break free
and
.
Diction :
✗ Good God , my hand
boulder then crushes my right hand I
.
foot and hand i took MY left The
emotive language religious language : mild expletive, extreme emotion
with
- - - - -
- -
one
-
one
- - - -
f.
-
ensnares my right arm
.. - - - -
- - ,
,
and desperation , in shock
.
pushes my foot tight ! With MY right 1 personification showing entrapment hopelessness 1 out of there! '
your hand
knee ; :
sight of my
stare at the
,
vanished , i get
. . .
arm
at the wrist , palm in , thumb up , fingers
't
'
from my fully
foot ;sliding my belly over: i . .
-
1 seems like magic conjuration → unreal-1 desperation + panic
.. .
! >
-
extended arms extended lost his mind
.
I '
Asunder the listing speeds up :pace + gruesome
:
image ,
already ! come on move !
'
swift and controlled movement,
. . . .
↳vivid image of his descriptive everything slows down structure
exclamatory desperation panic
y
- - - - - - -
sentence →
-
I'm dreaming I ,
-
l as if . . .
1 simile : trance-like state language ,
another drop off
.
I come to I * Active voice
language
-
Losing control
.
sentence detached tone, attract audience
'
2.
simple : "
three times
yank my
-
I arm .
1- structure language I -
confident
-
l -
-
-
-
- I. .
1 .
.
desperation
the large boulder, heaving against it, pushing with my left
-
.
-
-
.. .
my hands feet , and back
,
.
" 3. Panicked I shove against
din suggests experience agility , create hand , lifting with my lines pressed under
the rock
- :
Rule of three ; showcases 1 .
. * tonal shift
HUG StruttUH ↳ creates a false sense of hope for the readers as the writer seems to be
visual -
maybe imagery
this one is . . ..
imagine using it to climb up the 127 :
the initiative to save himself
and
d-emonstratirepronoun-iengages.us
can
you l -
escape
taking
. . -
-
"
inside of a chimney A
BETWEEN
.
I descended ten minutes ago
µµ
I shock-1 lack of hope)
+ direct address *short sentences (→
.
domestic
. .
imagery
.
:
fast he is idiom , foreshadowing
: puts in perspective how
-
AND A
-
• time phrase &
& this predicament where
I'm Hulk
progressing helps readers to actually any decision he makes will
1 But
attempts
.
in;D + relatable difficult
futile
µµ⑥µf
sudden hit of realization ( all his
be a on
were
imagine situation more represents panic,
I " " " " " "n
it's possible for me .
1
.. .
with '
vividly by comparing
. . .
,
positive language : creates an assured tone →
i →
hopelessness)
chimney
-
he is an experienced and Just below the ledge where I'm standing is a
tension 1
1 Nothing .
" "" Mt ""Mbtt sentence incomplete short sentence
1. long descriptive
→ ,
chock stone the size of a large bus tire , stuck out of control , panicked , more
reaction
Monosyllable stark and hopeless leaves writer uncertain of what will
,
:
calm , controlled
confident →
I -
the wall a few feet ,
, ,
channel between
-
* active voice contrast with passive tenet fast in the ,
time marker 1st person narrative present
+ tense
happen next
I
-1 .
I traverse out I I press it from the lip ,
panic
All his actions were futile in attempt
represent
hopelessness
; his
I can move up own
. - .
. . . . . . -
→
his incident , immersed
myself : I squat Asyndetil listing -1 visual imagery I
1
.
kick at the boulder I 7 lower
:
experience
and hopeless
uncertain conclusion as Ralston appears isolated
-
.
I . . .
and grip ; I can lower myself .. . ; analytical , confident, controlled 1
•
/
. . .
↳ controlled , confident, everything is happening If I can step onto it, . . .
1 right now
because he chooses it
to
happen → assured Tdependantane controlled , analytical :
, I. italics : frantic thinking Nicole Li
- -
- - - -
- -
- -
