THEME 7
AFFILIATION
• Need for affiliation = the desire to establish and maintain rewarding interpersonal relationships.
o We all have a SOCIOSTAT (social thermostat) that regulates our social and alone time
o Reasons why we want to affiliate: energy, stimulation, information, emotional support
o During stressful situations we want company, but in embarrassing situations we don't.
• Instinct Theory = innate drive/impulse, genetically transmitted, of humans to be part of groups.
o We want to avoid Loneliness = the feeling of deprivation of existing social relations
(intimate, relational, collective)
o hikikomori = Japanese phenomenon, people withdraw from social relations with anyone
except family
INITIAL ATTRACTION
• Attraction to another person is influenced by:
o Familiarity to the person:
physical proximity >> accessibility (increases);
mere exposure effect = mere exposure to a stimulus (repeated) leads to liking it
(influenced without awareness);
o Personal characteristics:
intelligence;
personality
The Big 5 = the 5 main personality dimensions (extraversion/surgency,
agreeableness, conscientiousness, emotional stability and
intellect/openness to experience)
self-esteem;
self-disclosure;
trustworthiness;
loneliness;
warmth;
o Attitude similarity
Assortative matching = non-random coupling based on similarities (culture,
ethnicity, status, looks);
perceived similarity is more important than actual similarity;
o Physical attractiveness
similarity in looks as well can increase the level of attraction
Group attractiveness effect = perceived attractiveness of a group is greater than
the average attractiveness of individual group members
*"Red-sex link" - women who wear red are perceived as more promiscuous
'What-is-beautiful-is-good' stereotype (WIBIGS) = belief that physically attractive
people also possess desirable personality traits
ESTABLISHING RELATIONSHIPS
• The process of establishing relationships is affected mainly by 3 elements:
, 1. Similarity ('birds of a feather flock together' > 'opposites attract')
There are 4 types of similarities:
1. demographic (age, race, religion etc.)
2. opinions, interests, values
3. attractiveness equivalent (matching hypothesis = people are attracted to those who are
similar in their level of attractiveness)
4. subjective experiences
5. matching hypothesis = people are attracted to those of similar level of physical
attractiveness
2 Stage Model of Attraction Process
*Opposites attract (Complementarity hypothesis) has no support!!!
2. Reciprocity - we like balanced relationships, meaning a mutual exchange between the two
partners
3. Playing hard-to-get - we are drawn to people who are socially selective
o Hard-to-get effect = tendency to prefer people who are highly selective in their social
choices over those who are readily available.
Can also be influenced by external factors like parents, social circles >>
psychological reactance (becomes the 'forbidden fruit' and we want it more)
EVOLUTION OF DESIRE
• Preferences -> Evolutionary psychology states that men can go fuck around while women are
limited by the number of kids they can have in one life.
o the 'deal' is: women offer beauty and men offer money
• Conspicuous consumption = may have evolved as a sexually selected mating signal => more
competition on the reproductive landscape for men, more money spent in conspicuous ways
• Expression of love = men want sex, women want love
• Jealousy = negative emotion, perceived a threat to somebody's relationship
o women are concerned about emotional infidelity, men are concerned about sexual
infidelity
AFFILIATION
• Need for affiliation = the desire to establish and maintain rewarding interpersonal relationships.
o We all have a SOCIOSTAT (social thermostat) that regulates our social and alone time
o Reasons why we want to affiliate: energy, stimulation, information, emotional support
o During stressful situations we want company, but in embarrassing situations we don't.
• Instinct Theory = innate drive/impulse, genetically transmitted, of humans to be part of groups.
o We want to avoid Loneliness = the feeling of deprivation of existing social relations
(intimate, relational, collective)
o hikikomori = Japanese phenomenon, people withdraw from social relations with anyone
except family
INITIAL ATTRACTION
• Attraction to another person is influenced by:
o Familiarity to the person:
physical proximity >> accessibility (increases);
mere exposure effect = mere exposure to a stimulus (repeated) leads to liking it
(influenced without awareness);
o Personal characteristics:
intelligence;
personality
The Big 5 = the 5 main personality dimensions (extraversion/surgency,
agreeableness, conscientiousness, emotional stability and
intellect/openness to experience)
self-esteem;
self-disclosure;
trustworthiness;
loneliness;
warmth;
o Attitude similarity
Assortative matching = non-random coupling based on similarities (culture,
ethnicity, status, looks);
perceived similarity is more important than actual similarity;
o Physical attractiveness
similarity in looks as well can increase the level of attraction
Group attractiveness effect = perceived attractiveness of a group is greater than
the average attractiveness of individual group members
*"Red-sex link" - women who wear red are perceived as more promiscuous
'What-is-beautiful-is-good' stereotype (WIBIGS) = belief that physically attractive
people also possess desirable personality traits
ESTABLISHING RELATIONSHIPS
• The process of establishing relationships is affected mainly by 3 elements:
, 1. Similarity ('birds of a feather flock together' > 'opposites attract')
There are 4 types of similarities:
1. demographic (age, race, religion etc.)
2. opinions, interests, values
3. attractiveness equivalent (matching hypothesis = people are attracted to those who are
similar in their level of attractiveness)
4. subjective experiences
5. matching hypothesis = people are attracted to those of similar level of physical
attractiveness
2 Stage Model of Attraction Process
*Opposites attract (Complementarity hypothesis) has no support!!!
2. Reciprocity - we like balanced relationships, meaning a mutual exchange between the two
partners
3. Playing hard-to-get - we are drawn to people who are socially selective
o Hard-to-get effect = tendency to prefer people who are highly selective in their social
choices over those who are readily available.
Can also be influenced by external factors like parents, social circles >>
psychological reactance (becomes the 'forbidden fruit' and we want it more)
EVOLUTION OF DESIRE
• Preferences -> Evolutionary psychology states that men can go fuck around while women are
limited by the number of kids they can have in one life.
o the 'deal' is: women offer beauty and men offer money
• Conspicuous consumption = may have evolved as a sexually selected mating signal => more
competition on the reproductive landscape for men, more money spent in conspicuous ways
• Expression of love = men want sex, women want love
• Jealousy = negative emotion, perceived a threat to somebody's relationship
o women are concerned about emotional infidelity, men are concerned about sexual
infidelity
