Psychology of sexuality
Lecture 1: How and why do people have sex?
More based on heterosexual relationships because there is more research about it.
Three perspectives on sexuality
1. Biological: We all have a body, it works in a certain way.
2. Social and Cultural Psychological: we all grow up in a cultural and social setting. We
are taught how to feel and behave about sexuality.
3. Applied Clinical: a sexual relationship can go wrong. Can have biological or
psychological causes
Sex-computer metaphor
People have hardware: a body, biological: how we perform and experience sex
Operating system: evolution. Over 10000 years people have developed patterns of behavior,
best seen in partner preference.
Software: social environment and culture we grow up in: family, religion, school etc. Teaches
us how to behave. There are whings we can and cannot do.
Helpdesk:- things go wrong, the helpdesk is the sexologist.
Computers get older…
We tend to think of young people but old people have sex as well. We tend to think about
the negative things, but is pleasant as well when being older.
(Joan Price): Sex and Aging.
Joan price lecture is not mandatory
The psychology of human Sexuality. Lehmiller, 2017: based on research, no morals, objective
Chapter 12 is not included in the course
What is sex?
Definition is not easy, it remains implicit, almost no one can talk about it freely.
Association with sex: love, intimacy, pleasure, fun, passion, gender, intercourse,
reproduction, orgasm.
In line with Dutch research: at age 25, 81% of Dutch youngsters has sexual experience: 90%
of young women and 94% of young men say they enjoy sex.
Definition: Wikipedia say: human sexual activity, human sexual practice or Human sexual
behavior is the manner in which humans experience and express their sexuality. – does not
help us.
Oxford dictionary: Sex = sexual activity, including sexual intercourse
Sexuality: sexual activity
Still not helpful
,Yourdictionary: sex= Any function or behavior involved with reproduction
Narrows it down a bit, too narrow
Go Ask Allice: Sex= the birds and the bees. Getting it on.
Metaphore, we have a lot of words for it. But what us it?
Definition of sex(uality) (very broad):
Sexuality is about all the sensory perceptions, emotions and cognitions that someone
associates with physical sexual arousal, and that usually leads to sexual desire and / or
behaviour.
About love, lust, orgasms, reproductions. It is very complex.
How do we do it?
What is sexual behaviour?
- Not
▪ Asexual: no attractions, sometimes they do have sex but no sexual
feelings, it is a sexual orientation
▪ Voluntary celibacy (complete or partial), they do feel sexual
attractions but reframe form acting from it (20% of the population).
Might have religious reasons, too young, morals, lost partner and
don’t want new partner
▪ Involuntary celibacy (incel): no access to a partner (military, divorced
etc) physical disability etc.
Incel: young men online who are unable to find a sexual partner, white
heterosexual males. Full of self-pity, dislike women, feel entitled to
have sex. Can result into murder.
- Solitary sexual behaviours
▪ Sexual fantasy: mental images that are sexually arousing, not dreams
about thoughts and images. Any mental picture that comes to mind
while you’re awake, that ultimately turns you on. Freud:
Most common:
Multiparter sex
BDSM: Bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism,
and masochism
Novelty, adventure, and variety: in a different position,
different setting etc.
Gender differences in fantasies are small. Men are more likely to have
more fantasies about group sex.
▪ Masturbation: self-stimulating, most people masturbate. Men
masturbate more than women. Higher educated masturbate more.
Gives women a higher self-esteem, decrease change of prostate
cancer, doesn’t harm relationship
, • Partnered sexual behaviours
- Sex is only sex is all partners consent. If there is no consent there is no sex.
- Listing of sexual behaviours: Kissing. Many nerve endings, in western society
most common. IN south Africa it is found disgusting. Tong is very sensitive, it
is a signal of trust. Evolutionary behaviour: wheter your partner is fitting,
check pheromones, check fertility. This could be an option for why we kiss.
- Touching (tribadism): integral part, focused on breast and genitals but can
also be touching earlobes or feet. Trbiadism: rub genitals to genitals
(scissoring)
- Oral sex (Fellatio/cunnilingus): more frequent among white youngster. Some
cultures it is unclean and unnatural. Cunnilingus: going down on a woman.
Fellatio: blowjob.
- Anal sex (intercourse or anillingus): more frequent among white youngsters
with high education. Mostly associated with gay men but not necessarily.
Health risks: no lubrication itself
- Vaginal intercourse (coitus): most preferred: most common around young
high educated people and in marriages. Age increases when we start with it.
Missionary: man on top
Woman on top: Amazon/cowgirl
From behind: Doggystyle
Sideways: spooning
Female and orgasms: best when the woman is on top or the CAT position
which is best for clitoral stimulation = Coital alignment technique = missionary
position but men moves his body higher up so his pelvis stimulates the clitoris
of the female. Sex is healthy! Sex stimulates neuronal growth, less stress,
increases immune system. There are a lot of ways to have sex. But what is
sex?
In American movies: baseball metaphor
Focused on coitus, the rest is way to get to it.
How do heterosexual people define having sex?
, Oral is mostly not defines sex: then lesbian and homosexual don’t have sex…
Dutch students think about sex more broadly.
What do homosexual people consider what sex is? And lesbians?
Former beliefs about sex
Lecture 1: How and why do people have sex?
More based on heterosexual relationships because there is more research about it.
Three perspectives on sexuality
1. Biological: We all have a body, it works in a certain way.
2. Social and Cultural Psychological: we all grow up in a cultural and social setting. We
are taught how to feel and behave about sexuality.
3. Applied Clinical: a sexual relationship can go wrong. Can have biological or
psychological causes
Sex-computer metaphor
People have hardware: a body, biological: how we perform and experience sex
Operating system: evolution. Over 10000 years people have developed patterns of behavior,
best seen in partner preference.
Software: social environment and culture we grow up in: family, religion, school etc. Teaches
us how to behave. There are whings we can and cannot do.
Helpdesk:- things go wrong, the helpdesk is the sexologist.
Computers get older…
We tend to think of young people but old people have sex as well. We tend to think about
the negative things, but is pleasant as well when being older.
(Joan Price): Sex and Aging.
Joan price lecture is not mandatory
The psychology of human Sexuality. Lehmiller, 2017: based on research, no morals, objective
Chapter 12 is not included in the course
What is sex?
Definition is not easy, it remains implicit, almost no one can talk about it freely.
Association with sex: love, intimacy, pleasure, fun, passion, gender, intercourse,
reproduction, orgasm.
In line with Dutch research: at age 25, 81% of Dutch youngsters has sexual experience: 90%
of young women and 94% of young men say they enjoy sex.
Definition: Wikipedia say: human sexual activity, human sexual practice or Human sexual
behavior is the manner in which humans experience and express their sexuality. – does not
help us.
Oxford dictionary: Sex = sexual activity, including sexual intercourse
Sexuality: sexual activity
Still not helpful
,Yourdictionary: sex= Any function or behavior involved with reproduction
Narrows it down a bit, too narrow
Go Ask Allice: Sex= the birds and the bees. Getting it on.
Metaphore, we have a lot of words for it. But what us it?
Definition of sex(uality) (very broad):
Sexuality is about all the sensory perceptions, emotions and cognitions that someone
associates with physical sexual arousal, and that usually leads to sexual desire and / or
behaviour.
About love, lust, orgasms, reproductions. It is very complex.
How do we do it?
What is sexual behaviour?
- Not
▪ Asexual: no attractions, sometimes they do have sex but no sexual
feelings, it is a sexual orientation
▪ Voluntary celibacy (complete or partial), they do feel sexual
attractions but reframe form acting from it (20% of the population).
Might have religious reasons, too young, morals, lost partner and
don’t want new partner
▪ Involuntary celibacy (incel): no access to a partner (military, divorced
etc) physical disability etc.
Incel: young men online who are unable to find a sexual partner, white
heterosexual males. Full of self-pity, dislike women, feel entitled to
have sex. Can result into murder.
- Solitary sexual behaviours
▪ Sexual fantasy: mental images that are sexually arousing, not dreams
about thoughts and images. Any mental picture that comes to mind
while you’re awake, that ultimately turns you on. Freud:
Most common:
Multiparter sex
BDSM: Bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism,
and masochism
Novelty, adventure, and variety: in a different position,
different setting etc.
Gender differences in fantasies are small. Men are more likely to have
more fantasies about group sex.
▪ Masturbation: self-stimulating, most people masturbate. Men
masturbate more than women. Higher educated masturbate more.
Gives women a higher self-esteem, decrease change of prostate
cancer, doesn’t harm relationship
, • Partnered sexual behaviours
- Sex is only sex is all partners consent. If there is no consent there is no sex.
- Listing of sexual behaviours: Kissing. Many nerve endings, in western society
most common. IN south Africa it is found disgusting. Tong is very sensitive, it
is a signal of trust. Evolutionary behaviour: wheter your partner is fitting,
check pheromones, check fertility. This could be an option for why we kiss.
- Touching (tribadism): integral part, focused on breast and genitals but can
also be touching earlobes or feet. Trbiadism: rub genitals to genitals
(scissoring)
- Oral sex (Fellatio/cunnilingus): more frequent among white youngster. Some
cultures it is unclean and unnatural. Cunnilingus: going down on a woman.
Fellatio: blowjob.
- Anal sex (intercourse or anillingus): more frequent among white youngsters
with high education. Mostly associated with gay men but not necessarily.
Health risks: no lubrication itself
- Vaginal intercourse (coitus): most preferred: most common around young
high educated people and in marriages. Age increases when we start with it.
Missionary: man on top
Woman on top: Amazon/cowgirl
From behind: Doggystyle
Sideways: spooning
Female and orgasms: best when the woman is on top or the CAT position
which is best for clitoral stimulation = Coital alignment technique = missionary
position but men moves his body higher up so his pelvis stimulates the clitoris
of the female. Sex is healthy! Sex stimulates neuronal growth, less stress,
increases immune system. There are a lot of ways to have sex. But what is
sex?
In American movies: baseball metaphor
Focused on coitus, the rest is way to get to it.
How do heterosexual people define having sex?
, Oral is mostly not defines sex: then lesbian and homosexual don’t have sex…
Dutch students think about sex more broadly.
What do homosexual people consider what sex is? And lesbians?
Former beliefs about sex
