STUDY NOTE 2 for PYC3705
Theme: Attending behaviours in counselling setting
Non-verbal and verbal attending with regard to ‘listening and sensing’
Reflecting and clarifying. As well as paying attention to and matching body language with the person we
are communicating with, it helps if we can also match their words. Reflecting back and clarifying what has
been said are useful tactics for repeating what has been communicated by the other person. Not only will
it confirm that you are listening but also give you opportunity to use the words and phases of the other
person, further emphasising similarity and common ground.
Attending: In relationship listening, attending behaviours indicate that the listener is focusing on the
speaker. Nonverbal cues are crucial in relationship listening; that is, your nonverbal behaviour indicates
that you are attending to the speaker— or that you aren’t!
Eye contact is one of the most important attending behaviours. Looking appropriately and comfortably at
the speaker sends a message that is different from that sent by a frequent shift of gaze, staring, or looking
around the room.
Body positioning communicates acceptance or lack of it. Leaning forward, toward the speaker,
demonstrates interest; leaning away communicates lack of interest.
Head nods, smiles, frowns, and vocalized cues such as “uh huh,” “I see,” or “yes”—all are positive
attending behaviours.
A pleasant tone of voice, gentle touching, and concern for the other person’s comfort are other attending
behaviours.
Theme: Attending behaviours in counselling setting
Non-verbal and verbal attending with regard to ‘listening and sensing’
Reflecting and clarifying. As well as paying attention to and matching body language with the person we
are communicating with, it helps if we can also match their words. Reflecting back and clarifying what has
been said are useful tactics for repeating what has been communicated by the other person. Not only will
it confirm that you are listening but also give you opportunity to use the words and phases of the other
person, further emphasising similarity and common ground.
Attending: In relationship listening, attending behaviours indicate that the listener is focusing on the
speaker. Nonverbal cues are crucial in relationship listening; that is, your nonverbal behaviour indicates
that you are attending to the speaker— or that you aren’t!
Eye contact is one of the most important attending behaviours. Looking appropriately and comfortably at
the speaker sends a message that is different from that sent by a frequent shift of gaze, staring, or looking
around the room.
Body positioning communicates acceptance or lack of it. Leaning forward, toward the speaker,
demonstrates interest; leaning away communicates lack of interest.
Head nods, smiles, frowns, and vocalized cues such as “uh huh,” “I see,” or “yes”—all are positive
attending behaviours.
A pleasant tone of voice, gentle touching, and concern for the other person’s comfort are other attending
behaviours.
