1
Gone
You are there.
On my wall. I can almost feel your presence when I stare at our beautiful, glowing
photos that have been put up– captivatedly. As much as I know it would complicate
things and would ensure more difficulty for us both, I wish you really were physically
here right now. We must keep our distance, I know; but the heart wants what it
wants, and my sense of rationality is not welcome here.
I am reminiscing, yet everything seems so bittersweet. For someone who has a
hushed and tranquil make-up, you conduct the most noise in my mind and put the
most strain on my heart. I find my mind is overflowing with perfect scenarios and
thoughts of you. Everything about you. Our memories. Us. Because well, I have an
even stronger desire for what I can no longer attain with you.
So much history in the space of two years and I start to create a protective shield for
myself– picking fights and convincing myself that I hate you, knowing at the back of
my mind we have to say goodbye in less than two weeks. Knowing that you will be –
gone. I try and push it out the way. The thought is too unbearable. I am finding it
almost impossible to fathom the concept, how one moment you are here and the
next, you will be gone, our memories will fade, you will be on a different continent
building a new life for yourself whilst I remain behind and prevail with my own.
Lovers will become strangers: the agonizing truth.
I am reminiscing… first friends then completely unexpectedly, we developed into
lovers – I have found that the best things in life occur unplanned. Here goes…
It all began three years ago when I was introduced to you through my best friend,
who was dating your twin at the time and It is incomprehensible to think how we
were just strangers and our feelings relative to each other were detached.
My world was blessed on 14 May 2017: Our first kiss - From this day I knew,
someday something would arise from this, but all good things come to those who
wait. And I really did wait.
3 March 2018. Your eighteenth birthday. I send you a text wishing you a happy
birthday. I could tell you were delighted to hear from me. We kept in contact for three
months throughout the days, every day. It felt as if it was my luck that I contacted
you on that day.
6 May 2018. Your very first hint that you wished to see me and that you really
fancied me. You desired me to support you at your rugby matches and cheer you on
because my presence would be crucial to your stamina during the game. I felt
special. Knowing you wanted me to meet your parents, warm and kind they were,
fuelling my reasons of why this was all meant to be. Why I genuinely felt we were
meant to be.
24 May 2018 – a day which I think of constantly and one of the most joyful I have
experienced. I was seized. Moments prior to entering your house, I was a little
Gone
You are there.
On my wall. I can almost feel your presence when I stare at our beautiful, glowing
photos that have been put up– captivatedly. As much as I know it would complicate
things and would ensure more difficulty for us both, I wish you really were physically
here right now. We must keep our distance, I know; but the heart wants what it
wants, and my sense of rationality is not welcome here.
I am reminiscing, yet everything seems so bittersweet. For someone who has a
hushed and tranquil make-up, you conduct the most noise in my mind and put the
most strain on my heart. I find my mind is overflowing with perfect scenarios and
thoughts of you. Everything about you. Our memories. Us. Because well, I have an
even stronger desire for what I can no longer attain with you.
So much history in the space of two years and I start to create a protective shield for
myself– picking fights and convincing myself that I hate you, knowing at the back of
my mind we have to say goodbye in less than two weeks. Knowing that you will be –
gone. I try and push it out the way. The thought is too unbearable. I am finding it
almost impossible to fathom the concept, how one moment you are here and the
next, you will be gone, our memories will fade, you will be on a different continent
building a new life for yourself whilst I remain behind and prevail with my own.
Lovers will become strangers: the agonizing truth.
I am reminiscing… first friends then completely unexpectedly, we developed into
lovers – I have found that the best things in life occur unplanned. Here goes…
It all began three years ago when I was introduced to you through my best friend,
who was dating your twin at the time and It is incomprehensible to think how we
were just strangers and our feelings relative to each other were detached.
My world was blessed on 14 May 2017: Our first kiss - From this day I knew,
someday something would arise from this, but all good things come to those who
wait. And I really did wait.
3 March 2018. Your eighteenth birthday. I send you a text wishing you a happy
birthday. I could tell you were delighted to hear from me. We kept in contact for three
months throughout the days, every day. It felt as if it was my luck that I contacted
you on that day.
6 May 2018. Your very first hint that you wished to see me and that you really
fancied me. You desired me to support you at your rugby matches and cheer you on
because my presence would be crucial to your stamina during the game. I felt
special. Knowing you wanted me to meet your parents, warm and kind they were,
fuelling my reasons of why this was all meant to be. Why I genuinely felt we were
meant to be.
24 May 2018 – a day which I think of constantly and one of the most joyful I have
experienced. I was seized. Moments prior to entering your house, I was a little
