Building bonds through education and care 2021-2022
SKILLS FOR INTERVIEWING PARENTS
OPPORTUNITIES TO COMMUNICATE WITH PARENTS AND BARRIERS WHEN
DOING SO
Not the intention to make every conversation heavy
Also can be light-hearted, funny, pleasant or interesting
You base yourself on what you received from your own backpack
Talk to you as a parent but also as the child from yesterday
Approach parents from a solid, safe basis
THE BASIC INGREDIENTS FOR A GOOD CONVERSATION WITH PARENTS
POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Approach parents from their strength and possibilities
Parents = 1st educator, have an eye for the commitment and emotional involvement
Positive-minded professional = open to the strengths of all families
Identify problems and put them into words
Assume that there are no hopeless cases
EQUALITY AND RECIPROCITY (WEDERKERIGHEID)
Professional = professional expertise, parent = expert about own child
Equal value, but therefore not equal
Parents are the asking party
Do not adopt an unsolicited position as an expert and advisor, especially if it doesn’t fit with your
mandate
Ensure reciprocity by being open to the strengths and possibilities of parents and involving them
in the seatch for solutions
Communicate clearly about learned/received from parents
INVOLVEMENT AND WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN
Being interested and caring
Willingness to listen = open and curious attitude
Being present and available to parents
Starting from not-knowing
Being careful with interpretation
Postponing understanding: not to fast telling parents that you understand them
OPENNES
Open attitude
Open agenda: dare to express what you see happening
1
,Building bonds through education and care 2021-2022
2
,Building bonds through education and care 2021-2022
RESPECT
Accepting that the other person is different from you
Leave the other person in his/her own uniqueness and make an effort to look at the situation
from the other person’s perspective
Showing interest in what a parent finds important
MAKING CONVERSATION AND CONVERSATION TECHNIQUES
Basic attitude = master -key
Listening skills: primarily intended to show the other that they are being listened to and secondly
that the story/ perspective of the other and/ or problem is clarified
Regulatory skills: skills to ensure that a conversation is properly conducted. They regulate the
progress of the conversation
Function: monitor the profess of the conversation
Transmitter skills: skills that ensure that your message gets through to the other person, as
intended. You add a new perspective
Function station skills: communicate the different messages as clearly as possible during the
conversation
LISTENING SKILLS
To achieve a constructive and equal conversation you must do everything to empathize with the
realities of the parent
Try to temporarily live the life of the other person, do not judge what the other person
experiences
It’s about the emotions and thought the other person has
S – Smile
O – open posture
F - forward leaning
T - touch
E – eye contact
N – nod
Mimicry: moderator selects behaviors that best fir the style of the parent
Verbal skills: humming, repeating the last words, paraphrasing, summarizing
Attention-giving behavior: make the other side feel that his story is being listened to
Paraphrasing: describing briefly in own words the most important thing the client has said
Reflecting feelings: meant to show that the feelings experienced by the other are understood and
accepted
Understanding ≠ approval
Also have an eye for the context, parents = more willing to make efforts to change this behavior
3
, Building bonds through education and care 2021-2022
PITFALL
Expressing understanding – ends the conversation
Alternative: ‘I feel the sadness that you feel!’
Understanding only if u have sufficiently explored the perspective of the parent
Exploratory questions:
- Open questions: what do you think from Belgium?
- Closed questions: Do you like it in Belgium?
- Why-questions: focus on people’s motives: why do you like it in Belgium?
Concretizing questions: make story as precisely as possible
PITFALL
Firing one question after another you aren’t really listening
PITFALL
Not asking/ exploring at all
You place yourself in a One Up position (helping) 2 consequences
1. Resistance: the chance a parent applies your advice is very small
2. Dependence: the parent looks up to you as the one who knows best and follows your
advice, but always thinks he/she needs you in the next difficult situation not
empowering
Giving immediately advice and tips tips from own reference doesn’t fit every family
Good chance of ignoring the real need: the problem behind the problem
The uncertainty tolerance: start of conversation you don’t know what the parents need an how
you can be supportive/ helpful
Asking further on the emotional experience: ‘Can you tell me a little more about your feelings of
guilt?’ very intimate and personal know that the other person trust you and allows you to
get that close
PITFALL
Firing practical questions out of fear of painful emotions or trying to take these emotions away by
reassuring the other person
By giving appreciation, you also get close to the parents
Waiting to long with interruptions doesn’t encourage real listening announce this! ‘I’m going
to interrupt you for a moment. I hear that there is a lot to tell. But I would like to get a good picture
of your story. I hear you say that… and that … could you tell me a little more about …’
REGULTATORY SKILLS
OPENING A CONVERSATION AND SETTING GOALS
Formulate your goals clearly: they give direction to your conversation
Take the time to break the ice
Welcome the parents, ask or briefly tell them something informal, from an engaged and positive
attitude
4
SKILLS FOR INTERVIEWING PARENTS
OPPORTUNITIES TO COMMUNICATE WITH PARENTS AND BARRIERS WHEN
DOING SO
Not the intention to make every conversation heavy
Also can be light-hearted, funny, pleasant or interesting
You base yourself on what you received from your own backpack
Talk to you as a parent but also as the child from yesterday
Approach parents from a solid, safe basis
THE BASIC INGREDIENTS FOR A GOOD CONVERSATION WITH PARENTS
POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Approach parents from their strength and possibilities
Parents = 1st educator, have an eye for the commitment and emotional involvement
Positive-minded professional = open to the strengths of all families
Identify problems and put them into words
Assume that there are no hopeless cases
EQUALITY AND RECIPROCITY (WEDERKERIGHEID)
Professional = professional expertise, parent = expert about own child
Equal value, but therefore not equal
Parents are the asking party
Do not adopt an unsolicited position as an expert and advisor, especially if it doesn’t fit with your
mandate
Ensure reciprocity by being open to the strengths and possibilities of parents and involving them
in the seatch for solutions
Communicate clearly about learned/received from parents
INVOLVEMENT AND WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN
Being interested and caring
Willingness to listen = open and curious attitude
Being present and available to parents
Starting from not-knowing
Being careful with interpretation
Postponing understanding: not to fast telling parents that you understand them
OPENNES
Open attitude
Open agenda: dare to express what you see happening
1
,Building bonds through education and care 2021-2022
2
,Building bonds through education and care 2021-2022
RESPECT
Accepting that the other person is different from you
Leave the other person in his/her own uniqueness and make an effort to look at the situation
from the other person’s perspective
Showing interest in what a parent finds important
MAKING CONVERSATION AND CONVERSATION TECHNIQUES
Basic attitude = master -key
Listening skills: primarily intended to show the other that they are being listened to and secondly
that the story/ perspective of the other and/ or problem is clarified
Regulatory skills: skills to ensure that a conversation is properly conducted. They regulate the
progress of the conversation
Function: monitor the profess of the conversation
Transmitter skills: skills that ensure that your message gets through to the other person, as
intended. You add a new perspective
Function station skills: communicate the different messages as clearly as possible during the
conversation
LISTENING SKILLS
To achieve a constructive and equal conversation you must do everything to empathize with the
realities of the parent
Try to temporarily live the life of the other person, do not judge what the other person
experiences
It’s about the emotions and thought the other person has
S – Smile
O – open posture
F - forward leaning
T - touch
E – eye contact
N – nod
Mimicry: moderator selects behaviors that best fir the style of the parent
Verbal skills: humming, repeating the last words, paraphrasing, summarizing
Attention-giving behavior: make the other side feel that his story is being listened to
Paraphrasing: describing briefly in own words the most important thing the client has said
Reflecting feelings: meant to show that the feelings experienced by the other are understood and
accepted
Understanding ≠ approval
Also have an eye for the context, parents = more willing to make efforts to change this behavior
3
, Building bonds through education and care 2021-2022
PITFALL
Expressing understanding – ends the conversation
Alternative: ‘I feel the sadness that you feel!’
Understanding only if u have sufficiently explored the perspective of the parent
Exploratory questions:
- Open questions: what do you think from Belgium?
- Closed questions: Do you like it in Belgium?
- Why-questions: focus on people’s motives: why do you like it in Belgium?
Concretizing questions: make story as precisely as possible
PITFALL
Firing one question after another you aren’t really listening
PITFALL
Not asking/ exploring at all
You place yourself in a One Up position (helping) 2 consequences
1. Resistance: the chance a parent applies your advice is very small
2. Dependence: the parent looks up to you as the one who knows best and follows your
advice, but always thinks he/she needs you in the next difficult situation not
empowering
Giving immediately advice and tips tips from own reference doesn’t fit every family
Good chance of ignoring the real need: the problem behind the problem
The uncertainty tolerance: start of conversation you don’t know what the parents need an how
you can be supportive/ helpful
Asking further on the emotional experience: ‘Can you tell me a little more about your feelings of
guilt?’ very intimate and personal know that the other person trust you and allows you to
get that close
PITFALL
Firing practical questions out of fear of painful emotions or trying to take these emotions away by
reassuring the other person
By giving appreciation, you also get close to the parents
Waiting to long with interruptions doesn’t encourage real listening announce this! ‘I’m going
to interrupt you for a moment. I hear that there is a lot to tell. But I would like to get a good picture
of your story. I hear you say that… and that … could you tell me a little more about …’
REGULTATORY SKILLS
OPENING A CONVERSATION AND SETTING GOALS
Formulate your goals clearly: they give direction to your conversation
Take the time to break the ice
Welcome the parents, ask or briefly tell them something informal, from an engaged and positive
attitude
4
