,If you are a parent, describe one of your favorite and most
effective parenting “tricks” and how it achieves its goal. If
you are not a parent, describe how you might have seen
another parent handle a troublesome child.
204
23 YOU WANT TO DO WHAT?
WHAT IS APPROPRIATE? COMMON
AREAS OF TENSION
Questions of where, when, why, how, with what, which part,
how long, and with whom all involve conflicts regarding the
appropriateness of sexual activity In this chapter we are not
addressing the issue of moral right or wrong but rather the
question of what is comfortable between spouses in marriage.
We are primarily talking about the emotional and personal
acceptability of various kinds of sexual activities rather than
,about their being right or wrong from a moral or biblical
perspective. However, when sexual activities do involve a
moral decision, we will look at the biblical view. For those
interested in further study of biblical sexual ethics, we
suggest the book
Sex for
Christians
by Dr. Lewis B. Smedes.
Traditional
vs.
Experimental
The question of appropriateness can be thought of in terms of
the traditional versus the experimental. Sexual activities that
have become accepted over the years as the natural positions,
styles, or stimulations—traditional approaches—are often
thought to be the "right
NEVER ENOUGH TIME 199
NEVER ENOUGH TIME 203
, The fifteen minutes works best if you include some time to
talk about your day and how you are doing, read a Scripture
verse or short devotional followed by a prayer, and then kiss
passionately for thirty seconds or more. We are convinced
that daily connecting and passionate kissing keep the pilot
light on so that it is easier to turn up the flame. One evening
per week might be a date night to take more time to pleasure
each other without demand. It may be your scheduled quality
time together. A half-day or day per month may be a getaway
time or a time of loaning children to friends or family and
enjoying each other at home.
The weekend per season isn't possible for all couples, but it
is a great bonus if you can take that time. So much reserve
can be built during extended times together that will carry us
through the stressful times.
Making sure you have time together is the responsibility of
both partners. It takes forethought, planning, effort, and
recommitment. There is no way it will happen automatically.
If there is to be time together—you will have to take charge!
NEVER ENOUGH TIME 199
198 THE GIFT OF SEX
effective parenting “tricks” and how it achieves its goal. If
you are not a parent, describe how you might have seen
another parent handle a troublesome child.
204
23 YOU WANT TO DO WHAT?
WHAT IS APPROPRIATE? COMMON
AREAS OF TENSION
Questions of where, when, why, how, with what, which part,
how long, and with whom all involve conflicts regarding the
appropriateness of sexual activity In this chapter we are not
addressing the issue of moral right or wrong but rather the
question of what is comfortable between spouses in marriage.
We are primarily talking about the emotional and personal
acceptability of various kinds of sexual activities rather than
,about their being right or wrong from a moral or biblical
perspective. However, when sexual activities do involve a
moral decision, we will look at the biblical view. For those
interested in further study of biblical sexual ethics, we
suggest the book
Sex for
Christians
by Dr. Lewis B. Smedes.
Traditional
vs.
Experimental
The question of appropriateness can be thought of in terms of
the traditional versus the experimental. Sexual activities that
have become accepted over the years as the natural positions,
styles, or stimulations—traditional approaches—are often
thought to be the "right
NEVER ENOUGH TIME 199
NEVER ENOUGH TIME 203
, The fifteen minutes works best if you include some time to
talk about your day and how you are doing, read a Scripture
verse or short devotional followed by a prayer, and then kiss
passionately for thirty seconds or more. We are convinced
that daily connecting and passionate kissing keep the pilot
light on so that it is easier to turn up the flame. One evening
per week might be a date night to take more time to pleasure
each other without demand. It may be your scheduled quality
time together. A half-day or day per month may be a getaway
time or a time of loaning children to friends or family and
enjoying each other at home.
The weekend per season isn't possible for all couples, but it
is a great bonus if you can take that time. So much reserve
can be built during extended times together that will carry us
through the stressful times.
Making sure you have time together is the responsibility of
both partners. It takes forethought, planning, effort, and
recommitment. There is no way it will happen automatically.
If there is to be time together—you will have to take charge!
NEVER ENOUGH TIME 199
198 THE GIFT OF SEX
